Shocked to find ’80s teen queen Molly Ringwald playing — gasp! — a sensible mom on ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager (Tuesdays, 8 p.m.)? Times haven’t changed that much: This high school pregnancy drama has all the elements of a Sixteen Candles 2008.
Amy (Shailene Woodley), a sensitive French horn player who gets knocked up at band camp.
The supposedly devout football hunk, Jack (Greg Finley), and the school slut (Francia Raisa).
Amy’s belly-shirted sibling (India Eisley) snarks, ”Do you have to be such a geek and ruin everything for me?”
Overly articulate lovestruck nerd
Ben (Kenny Baumann), who joins the marching band just to be near Amy.
Amy takes three different pregnancy tests while her friends wait outside the stall. But hey, at least a bunch of dorks weren’t out there paying a buck to see her panties.