Simon Vozick-Levinson
August 01, 2008 AT 02:00 PM EDT

Look, I like VH1’s super-crass, super-meta reality show I Love Money as much as anyone. Probably more! But even I get distracted sometimes. This Monday, I was catching up on the latest episode, and after the final commercial break, I accidentally channel-surfed back to VH1 a minute or two too late to see who got eliminated. (Yes, I am still too cheap/lazy to install a DVR at home.) This sucked.

But then, at my always-resourceful girlfriend’s suggestion, I went over to check out IMDB.com’s user-created plot synopsis page. I found more than just the answer to who got eliminated: Less than 24 hours after the episode originally aired, someone had already posted an insanely detailed thousand-word description of everything that happened that night. As I clicked around, I discovered the same had been done for every episode this season. No analysis of any kind — just elegantly phrased blow-by-blow accounts of life in a house full of has-beens. These things are like novellas! Behold:

The last word comes from Whiteboy, who tells us he is now the No. 1target on the show. Whiteboy is under the impression both the Gold Teamand his own team are after him and adds: “It’s starting to get realreal right now. Real real.”

Le mot juste, Whiteboy. Le mot juste.

Yes! I might just start reading these every week instead of actually watching the show. Anyway, I don’t really know who’s penning these masterpieces, but these anonymous IMDB users deserve a serious shout-out. Anyone else hooked?

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