I know, I know, John Stamos (who turns 45 today) hates that he’s remembered first and foremost as Full House’s Uncle Jesse. But it’s not like I can help it: When I was growing up, John Stamos somehow had me convinced that a prissy biker/diva boasting a set of priorities dominated by equal parts Elvis and hair products was a legitimately compelling TV character. Looking back and realizing what an idiot I was is never much fun. I’m gonna go ahead and do it anyway. Come on, you know you remember all the words to Jesse and the Rippers’ hit single “Forever.” You’re even picturing a young Jodie Sweetin, apathetically swaying while mouthing the words off-rhythm in the living room. So tack on a facial expression slightly less horrified than those of Uncle Jesse’s bewildered twin babies, and sing it with me:
I’m sure Stamos’ response to this post would run along the lines of his suggestion for young-ish viewers of the recent Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget who’d tuned in to watch Uncle Jesse help Danny Tanner find a tender way to solve one of Michelle’s problems: “Go f*** yourselves!” Oh, we will. Forehhhh-ver, yeeeeeeeahhhh.