Annie Barrett
September 02, 2008 AT 06:55 PM EDT

Happy post-Labor Day, everyone. Along with “Everyone Pissed To Be Back At Work, School” and “Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World,” John Mayer and the blonde waitress are the hottest news on the planet today. Now go spill something thick and colorful on your horrifyingly all-white outfit, and you can headline the Internet, too!

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