Forget the Pope or the Dalai Lama. Who better to represent the human race to extraterrestrial spacefarers than Stephen Colbert?
At first glance, I will admit news that the faux conservative pundit having his DNA launched into space seemed like an elaborate publicity stunt for Tek Jansen.* Space tourist and video game designer Richard Garriott will deliver Colbert’s digitized DNA to the International Space Station this October for an “Immortality Drive.” “In the unlikely event that Earth and humanity are destroyed, mankind can be resurrected with Stephen Colbert’s DNA,” Garriott said. Colbert graciously accepted the honor announcing, “I am thrilled to have my DNA shot into space, as this brings me one step closer to my lifelong dream of being the baby at the end of 2001.”
If the idea of many Americans now getting their news from late night comedy unsettles you, imagine that aliens might learn about humanity through a cloned Comedy Central pundit! Not that Colbert is the first celebrity to have a piece of himself blasted into the heavens. Star Trek legends Gene Roddenberry and James “Scotty” Doohan had their ashes launched into orbit. So did LSD guru Timothy Leary. And, of course, there was that whole misguided attempt at space tourism by former ‘N Sync’er Lance Bass.
What do you think, nation? Should Colbert be our representative to E.T.? And what other 21st-century pop icons should have their DNA preserved if the human species needs to be repopulated?
*Sadly, Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne, a Tek Jansen Adventure still hasn’t hit stores, despite the Jansen theme song pompously declaring that it has sold millions of copies.