Joaquin Phoenix wants to be a singer? We've got the perfect lead single for him! | EW.com

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Joaquin Phoenix wants to be a singer? We've got the perfect lead single for him!

Joaquinphoenix_l

Joaquinphoenix_lSo by now, you’ve probably read the news that two-time Oscar nominee Joaquin Phoenix (Gladiator, Walk the Line) told Extra that he plans to quit the acting game and focus solely on his music career. But what you may not know is that sources residing solely in my head confirm to me exclusively that Phoenix’s first single will be an updated version of the Shocking Blue/Bananarama hit “Venus.” Check out the lyrics below (we’ve embedded Banarama’s cover after the jump if you want to sing along) and then let us know what you think of Phoenix’s career change.

Oscar nod for Walk the Line
Just like Jamie Foxx in Ray
That dude duets with Kanye West
But I’ve got a silent ‘J’

I’m singing!
Yeah, baby, not acting!
I’m your Phoenix, double threat
That’s what you get
I’m your Phoenix, double threat
Career roulette

That Simpson chick she acts and sings
Jessica’s her name I think
She isn’t very good at either
In fact she kind of stinks
Wah!

I’m singing!
Yeah, baby, not acting!
I’m your Phoenix, double threat
Je regrette
I’m your Phoenix, double threat
Gonna make you sweat

You might call my plan insane
But I’m writing tracks with Timbaland
And it beats another “shocking ending”
From M. Night Shyamalan

I’m singing!
Yeah, baby, not acting!
I’m your Phoenix, double threat
My hair’s brunette
I’m your Phoenix, double threat
Well, not quite yet

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