Jeff Probst blogs 'Survivor: Gabon' (episode 13) | EW.com

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Jeff Probst blogs 'Survivor: Gabon' (episode 13)

Survivorgabon_l_2

Survivorgabon_l_2Well, as the year comes to a close, it’s time to start looking at award-worthy performances. Here’s my vote for Best Performance by a Duo in a Reality Competition Series About Adventure That Takes Place in Exotic Locations and is Hosted by a Dashing Fella With a Keen Way About Him.

Bob: (clearly distressed over lying to Kenny) If I win the next immunity I’ll give it to you.

Kenny: (Long Pause) Okay.

And…scene.

I don’t know who should win the acting award, but both Bob and Kenny gave stellar performances. I don’t believe Bob was sorry for one second. He is playing the game. Just like Kenny. On the other hand, Kenny’s sad “poor me” performance was so understated, so restrained that it almost warrants a spot at the final tribal council.

Bob was never going to give him the necklace, but damn, I do appreciate Kenny’s bravado. Plead for the necklace while you’re planning Bob’s blindside. Awesome. Kenny is setting himself up for a major ass whuppin’…or a million dollars. I love this kid. Love him.

I miss Crystal already. I really do. She’s fun to pick on, and she always, and I mean always, had something to say at tribal council. The woman was gold. Not bronze. Not silver. Gold. As in gold medalist.

Favorite moment of the episode: Crystal trying so hard to prove her physical prowess that at the end of the reward challenge she actually attempted to dunk a ball on a four foot goal…that she towered over…and still missed.

Second favorite moment: Watching Crystal try to make her way through the immunity challenge. We couldn’t include every moment she went off the course, otherwise the challenge would still be going. To her credit, Crystal has always had a sense of humor about her lack of ability in challenges. Doesn’t change the fact that she sucked. She did.

Side note: When Bob was choosing two people to join him on reward, I said, “Two’s fun, three’s a party.” It was an innocent comment. My friend, Serena, felt there was a sexual connotation to the comment. I was appalled. Those kind of dirty and inappropriate thoughts simply do not occur to me. When I am hosting, I am focused. Laser beam precision. Tunnel vision. The thought that somehow I had a Freudian slip that would reveal the truth of what I’m really thinking about out there is simply silly. Now, had it been my other friend, Alexis, who said it, it might have some validity; she’s a bit of a psych job, so in an odd way her thinking often makes sense. Yes, I know I Just mentioned two women in the same sentence. Doesn’t mean anything. Okay, moving onto the next position, sorry I mean topic.

Sugar is a factor in this game. The sweet little pin-up model is very close to crying her way into the final. Who would ever think she would still be here this long? Not me. Never. How does it happen season after season? She wasn’t even picked when they ranked their tribes. She wasn’t picked! Then again, Bob was picked very late, so maybe all it means is that Marcus isn’t as brilliant as he claims!! Ah-ha!!

Okay, fine. Another gross exaggeration on my part. Marcus actually had the highest IQ of everyone this season. If you want to know who had the second highest IQ, watch the reunion show. I think you will be surprised.

No, I’ve never taken the IQ test we give them. Because ignorance is bliss. No, I don’t feel the need. Just back off. What? Why? That’s crazy, I don’t have anything to prove. I get paid whether I’m smart or not. Stop it. Go. Would you just go. I have to finish my blog.

Sorry about that. My inner voice – drives me nuts sometimes.

So, as we head into the finale, we are down to five: Sugar, Susie, Kenny, Matty, and Bob.

Sugar is in an excellent spot to make it to the final vote. I’ll give her credit. She has done a very good job of staying in this game and staying out of the way. She’s survived a record number of days on Exile, she handled the power of the immunity idol beautifully, and she has earned her right to be in the final five. She could easily make it to the final vote.

Susie is a question mark for me. She’s riding coattails a bit, for sure, but she has done a good job of offering up her vote to the right people at the right time, and that has kept her out of the line of fire. Don’t be surprised if she makes it to the final because everyone thinks they can beat her at the vote.

Matty is a favorite. Has been from day one. I’m so happy he’s still in the game. I just like how he wears his heart on his sleeve. Can he win? Yes. Can he make it to the end? Very difficult. He’s an obvious target.

Bob is another favorite of mine. Again, from day one. I like his straight-ahead approach, and I have a huge soft spot for Maine. Can he win? Yes. Can he get to the end? It’s gonna be tough. He will probably have to win his way there through immunity challenges, otherwise I think they’ll take him out. He has too many former tribemates on the jury.

Kenny - I cannot believe Kenny is still in this game. I would have lost my house betting against him making it this far. He has an uphill battle if he’s going to win because he has made a ton of enemies. But if he gets to the final with the right person or people, it could happen. Kenny could win this game.

I’ll say it right now. All things considered, I’m happy with this final five. There are three people I would be happy to see win and two people that if they win, I’ll pretend I’m happy and quickly begin promoting next season.

Remember, the big finale is this Sunday. A two-hour finale followed by the live reunion show where all these knuckleheads will be back together, and you can see who looks good and who looked better on the island.

Now to prove to you that I read your comments, I will answer a few questions:

Where did Bob get the beads to make the immunity necklace…? You can bet I’ll be asking him that at the reunion show.

Why did I throw Bob’s fake immunity idol in the fire? Because that is what you do when someone plays a fake immunity idol! What, are you new? I totally understand that it was a work of art, and yes, it pained me to do it, but…is this an art exhibit or Survivor? Get over it. He can make another one. And if you want to see what’s left of it, tune into the reunion show. Maybe I fished it out of the fire for him…or maybe I’ll be wearing it around my neck…or maybe I’ll just give it to Serena and call it a day.

Regarding loved ones – there is clearly no right or wrong answer. Those of you who hate the loved ones episodes have miserable lives. Those of us who cry and enjoy the loved ones episodes for their outpouring of emotion are beautiful, loving, wonderful human beings without whom the world would be a dark and dreary place. Welcome to the light, Dalton Ross.

To Dr. Zenith – thanks for the casting ideas, but I have to comment on the assertions that you and especially David Ellen (David, you made the blog!) continue to make: that we manipulate the game so that our favorites can win. Is the medication you’re currently taking prescribed or do you buy it on the streets? If we could dictate who would win each season, then the following people never would have won: Tina in Australia, Vecepia in Marquesas, that soft-core porno dude in Thailand, Jenna in the Amazon, Sandra in Pearl Islands, Amber in All-Stars, Earl in Fiji, and Parvati in Fans vs Favorites! All of those just listed people definitely deserved to win because they played the best game, but that doesn’t mean they would have been our first choice to win. We would have picked more “colorful” winners. Plain and simple. I’m kind of stumped that people still believe this stuff.

Oh, for the record, they don’t have toilets or toilet paper, showers or soap, or make-up, or beds, or secret food stashes, or anything else that would make it more tolerable. The game is real. The game is hard.

To “JeffProbstRocks” – you can come over and watch Survivor at my house. Don’t hate those poker chip-throwing friends of yours; envy is difficult, try to understand. That’s what I do.

Once and for all – the final three vs final two debate. It’s a matter of choice. Personally I believe that when you have three people in the final you have a better opportunity for a good winner because you cannot simply win the final immunity challenge and then take the least liked person with you to the final vote. For instance, had we planned a final three in Fans vs Favorites, Cirie would have won and everybody would have been happy. But we had a final two planned. So, David Ellen, if we were master manipulators, why not make it a final three and let Cirie win? Enough already. That’s just my opinion. For crying out loud, get over it.

And for those of you who don’t like us switching up the tribes because it screws you up in your Survivor pool, how about this…no switches next season. Straight Survivor. Is that what you want? Two tribes. No switch. One merge. Final 2. Okay, fine. Done. I’ll call CBS and tell them I’ve made a decision. Just don’t blame me when the dude from ‘N Sync is hosting next season.

See ya Sunday at the live show!

Now check out our exclusive deleted scene from Survivor: Gabon and then read Dalton’s recap.

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