Mike Bruno
December 31, 2008 AT 07:00 PM EST

The reports that all of the world’s 30 GB Zune MP3 players have at once suddenly frozen up seem to be true. Internet message boards, including the one on the Zune website, are filled with panicky users wondering how to fix their Microsoft device once it seizes on the boot screen. So far, nothing is working. Rumors are flying. Is it a strange Y2K9 thing? Unlikely, given that the mass freezes occurred before the new year. Perhaps Apple has spread a virus to kill all of the Zunes? Also unlikely, given that the Zune doesn’t pose a serious threat to the iPod’s dominance. As difficult as it is to face, there’s just one terrifying explanation that we’ll all have to bring ourselves to face: Aliens have frozen our planet’s Zunes and will use them to blackmail Bill Gates into apologizing for Windows Vista.

UPDATE: Reports are now coming in that the aliens have also taken control of the 80 GB models.

Any Zuners out there heading into New Year’s Eve without their digital tunes? Anyone figure out a solution yet? Is there a better explanation than the alien one?

addCredit(“Alien: Steve Weinrebe/Getty Images “)

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