Here’s a question for all you Supernatural/Dean Winchester loyalists who trooped to the cineplex over the weekend: Did My Bloody Valentine 3-D leave you wishing you’d snuck into Notorious instead? (If you could get in, that is. The Biggie biopic was sold out at my inner-city movie house and, in fact, was neck-and-neck with MBV for the No. 3 box office spot.)
At the showing I attended, I distinctly heard giggles – whether they were for the cheesy 3-D F/X, the Swiss-cheese story holes (leaves on trees in February?), or Jensen Ackles’ 1-D glower of a performance, I had no idea. Even this hardened gorehound didn’t expect much from a bare-bones remake of the ’80s knockoff of Friday the 13th (which arguably knocked off Italian great Mario Bava’s 1971 Twitch of the Death Nerve), but c’mon: Where did Jensen Ackles bury the bad-boy charisma that lent spark and snap to even the less-inspired episodes of the CW series? One can almost understand why he’d phone it in, given the constraints of the role, a cliched script, and the absence of straight-man Jared Padalecki to play off.
Still, one can’t help but wonder whether Ackles – and, for that matter, Padalecki, starring in, yikes, the upcoming Friday the 13th rehash – will share the fate of Kiefer Sutherland, who never quite found his place on the big screen. Or, perish the thought, end up a B-movie mainstay like MBV’s Tom Atkins or Kevin Tighe. If you’re itching to dissent, PopWatchers, post away. Are you a Jensen Ackles diehard who relished every last hack, slash, and gouge in MBV? Or are you praying, like me, to see him in a more offbeat role that unleashes his cocky strut and sly comedic chops? Do you yearn for Lionsgate to ax the quickie teen slasher dreck in favor of hip, stylish, original horror fare? Do spill.