Sure, sometimes I refer to it as “Canadia,” but I’ve never been much of one for mocking our neighbors to the north. First of all, they’re so nice. Second, it just seemed too easy, giggling about “toques” and saying “eh?” and pretending not to understand hockey and whatever. I am from Texas. We shouldn’t throw stones. Thus, I have always given Canada the benefit of the doubt.
That ends today.
The annual Juno Awards nominations came out this morning, celebrating the best that Canadian music has to offer. That “best”? Nickelback! Yes, by nominating them in five categories, Canada has pretty much anointed Chad Kroeger the next Celine Dion. Though Celine Dion got a bunch of nominations, too, as did Simple Plan. Is this a joke? What, no Alanis Morissette? Just kidding, she got a songwriting nomination! The more I look at the list, the more enjoyable it gets: The Barenaked Ladies are there, naturally, as is Michael Bublé. There are crazy ethnic categories, like “Francophone Album” (makes sense!) and “Aboriginal Album” (come again?). [UPDATE: Thanks to commenter Tim Lade, I now know this is referring to Native Americans. Oh, them!] AC/DC, Coldplay, Gn’R, Jack Johnson, and Metallica are the choices for “International Album,” a list that puts Nickelback perfectly into perspective. And Bryan Adams? Up for Artist of the Year. Of course he is.
Look, Canada, I am not trying to be hating. I’m glad to see you nominated Feist in the fan choice category (though 2007 was really more her year), and that Kathleen Edwards, F*cked Up, and The Stills are all represented somehow. I will check out these Lost Fingers you seem to enjoy so much. As for the rest? We can agree to disagree. Who am I to judge what sounds awesome to ears located so close to mouths that enjoy poutine? Partial list of nominees after the jump…and would anyone from up yonder care to weigh in and defend your people?
[UPDATED AGAIN: Dear irate Canadians! Due to your very strong reaction to this post, we here at PopWatch are giving YOU the chance to pick YOUR best Canadian albums and artists! Let your voices be heard at the Official EW Juno Recount Post! Stick it to the man! And to America!]
JUNO FAN CHOICE AWARD (PRESENTED BY PEPSI)
The Lost Fingers
SINGLE OF THE YEAR
“Taking Chances” - Céline Dion
“Lay It On The Line” - Divine Brown
“Dangerous” - Kardinal Offishall
“Lost” - Michael Bublé
“Gotta Be Somebody” - Nickelback
EMI INTERNATIONAL ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Black Ice AC/DC
Viva La Vida Coldplay
Chinese Democracy Guns N’ Roses
Sleep Through The Static Jack Johnson
Death Magnetic Metallica
ALBUM OF THE YEAR (SPONSORED BY CANADIAN RECORDING INDUSTRY ASSOCIATION)
Famous Last Words Hedley
Dark Horse Nickelback
Simple Plan Simple Plan
70’s Volume 2 Sylvain Cossette
Lost In The 80’s The Lost Fingers
ARTIST OF THE YEAR
City and Colour
EMI GROUP OF THE YEAR
Great Big Sea
Tokyo Police Club
NEW ARTIST OF THE YEAR (SPONSORED BY FACTOR AND CANADA’S PRIVATE RADIOBROADCASTERS)
NEW GROUP OF THE YEAR (SPONSORED BY FACTOR AND CANADA’S PRIVATE RADIO BROADCASTERS)
Plants and Animals