Annie Barrett
February 03, 2009 AT 12:00 PM EST

Let’s discuss last night’s 100th episode, “The Greater Good” — or what I like to call “House Goes Out Of Its Way to Make The 100th Episode Not All That Special.” ZERO Cameron/Chase action, and nobody died — even though Thirteen’s been beggin’ for it for months! Really, House? It’s more than a little sad that the two most lingering impressions I took from House were how huge Cuddy’s laptop seemed (look at that thing! optical illusion?! it’s freaking me out!) and how happy Taub’s wife (pretty much a nonentity until last night) is with her personal life. Ho, hum.

The Thirteen/Foreman romance (that last night featured them lounging non-seductively on a huge bed about five feet apart — intimate!) is a total waste of time, so I refuse to discuss it here. I will give props to Olivia Wilde’s ability to “play blind,” even though it might be as simple as avoiding eye contact with other actors in the same room. I really believed she was blind. Maybe I just wanted her to be blind. And then die.

I definitely enjoyed the cancer researcher-turned-cooking student Patient of the Week and her influence on Foreman, Taub, and especially the underutilized Wilson. We don’t usually see him and his floppy hair putzing around at home, so I’d just about forgotten that Wilson’s been woefully trapped in a suffocating aura of Dead Amber and her Things. Wash that coffee mug, Robert Sean Leonard — wash it good! (He didn’t. No soap, nary a wipe, barely a rinse! I know, I know. This is TV.)

I liked Kutner last night, too, especially when he refused to do real work until House let him in on what was going on with Foreman and Thirteen. Go back and watch House’s face as he considers what to do…he is ACTIVELY CARING ABOUT PEOPLE for a few seconds! I should compile these rare moments in a video tribute to The Softer Side of House. You could show it to your friends who only like watching nice people practice pleasantness on TV. It’d be a totally different show. Yeah, I won’t do that.

Hey, hair department: You have to do something about Cuddy’s mop. I’m going to dedicate an entire post to it every week until you do. I’m not going to make you take the stairs, trip you over a wire, or take away your cane, because that would be not only immature, but completely unrealistic as a plot point because who would do the hair if you died? But seriously. Those bangs. Get on it.

What did you think of last night’s 100th episode, House-bounds?

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