Michael Ausiello
February 04, 2009 AT 09:05 AM EST

Question: I’m Lost in more ways than one. Did I miss something? If they’re moving back and forth in time, that doesn’t explain why the island seemed to vanish from sight. Clarify, please? — Sandi
Sorry, you’ll have to take that up with Doc Jensen. He connects the dots. I just dole out the scoop. Speaking of which, the show is casting a role that sounds a lot like a pre-island Ben. The 10-year-old child prodigy is an extraordinarily gifted science student and musician who “is deeply depressed and simply wants to make his parents proud and get their love.” Interested actors must have brown hair, brown eyes and strong piano skills. Gotta be lil’ Ben, right? Wrong! (Scroll down to the comments for more!)

Question: Where are you hiding your Office scoop, and can we have some? — Katie
In my office, of course, and yes, also of course. We caught up with occasional Office director Ken Kwapis at Monday’s premiere of She’s Just Not That Into You and he told us that he helmed “a two-part special episode that will air this Thursday and next Thursday the 12th, titled ‘Lecture Circuit.’ And come April,” he added, “I will be directing the 100th episode of the series.” In that case, maybe he could tell us a little bit about what happens in it? “A lot of romantic foibles including with Jim and Pam,” he said. “But in the next few episodes, everybody will have an emotional pratfall. I have not seen a script for the 100th yet, but I am sure they will outdo themselves.”

Question: The Office seems like the equivalent of Fort Knox these days. Are there any JAM spoilers? — Meaghan
Sorta. Although Jenna Fischer swears (up and down) that she doesn’t know for sure if Jim and Pam will tie the knot in the season finale, she concedes, “We have 11 more episodes to shoot before the end of the season, so it is very possible.” That said, she hopes they don’t marry this season. “I hope it’s next season,” she confirms, because “I would like to see them address this engagement more. I feel like it happened so quickly at the end of a random episode, and then we don’t talk about it that much. I don’t want it to become another Pam/Roy scenario, where she is engaged for seven years. We need to make some forward motion.” Besides, she concludes, “I think she and Jim really are soul mates and meant to be together.”

Question: What can you tell me about Jim and Pam’s wedding? — Kim
For real? Nothing. So far as anyone knows — or is saying — it hasn’t yet been conceived. For unreal, however, I can give you this: Jenna Fischer, like any TV bride-to-be, has a few ideas about what should go down. “I really want Jim and Pam to get married at Schrute farms,” she says. “And I also want there to be something about the wedding that you don’t see on camera. Maybe you just hear it, or there is a photo at the end, or someone recounts it. But I want Jim and Pam to have a private moment at some point. Because they are a part of the documentary all the time, I think it would be nice for them to have some little thing that is just theirs. That would make all the romantics in our fan base happy.”

Question: I’m pretty sure I flew back on the same (insanely fog-delayed) Portland-to-Newark flight with you on Sunday. It was either you or an amazing doppelganger. You appeared to be on personal time, so it seemed rude to approach you. — Lori
I believe it’s always good to trust your instincts in those situations. (And for the record, I slapped that flight attendant in self defense. I am not a violent person.) 

Question: Could you please give us some scoop on Numb3rs? — Lauren
I’m hearing the season ends with an action-packed episode that finds a regular character in a terribly dangerous, possible fatal, situation.

Question: Do you hate 90210 or something? Give us some good scoop! — Sam
Hate it? The show is awesome! Just kidding, I haven’t seen an episode in months. But several trusty sources tell me it’s about to get really good, so I’ll probably start watching again next week — if for no other reason then to prep for Tori Spelling’s arrival in March. Speaking of which, I hear Tori’s bestest frenemy, Shannen Doherty, is returning for one more episode in May. Could this be the Brenda-Donna reunion we’ve been waiting for?! Sure couldn’t! I’m told the two won’t be sharing any scenes. Bum-mer.

Question: Got any Desperate Housewives news? — David
Orson’s darker underbelly will rear its ugly head again. “He starts to steal things,” reveals the klepto’s portrayer, Kyle MacLachlan. “It isn’t a burglar thing. He starts taking things that don’t belong to him, often from his friends and neighbors. I don’t know where that is eventually going to go, but it’s going to be delicious.”

Question: I’ll take one large Medium scoop to go, please. — Tim
The show will air a special two-hour episode in May that tackles an issue I know a little something about: crazed stalkers. “Allison’s public now, and along with that comes certain complications,” explains executive producer Glen Gordon Caron. “And one of them is that there is a gentleman [played by Underworld‘s Tony Curran] who authentically believes that her very existence runs contrary to the will of God. He threatens to kill her, so she starts to require police protection. The episode takes some very interesting turns.”

Question: Any spoilers for us Nip/Tuck fans? — Shelley
The show’s sixth and final season is closing in, and that can only mean one thing: It’s time to introduce the dreaded TV staple known as the previously-unknown relative (see also: Cousin Oliver). Producers are currently casting the role of Sean’s estranged younger brother Brendan, a meth addict who lives in a nature preserve.

Question: I recently saw a photo of Nate and Blair kissing in an upcoming episode of Gossip Girl. What the hell?! We waited all season for Blair to get together with Chuck! Please say it won’t last. — Clare
Let’s ask exec producer Stephanie Savage about that incriminating photo: “I think they look really cute together kissing in the snow.” Um, let me take a different approach. What does the rekindled N and B romance mean for C and B? “Tell those Chuck and Blair fans to hang in there.” That’s better.

Question: Anything at all on Smallville? I’ve noticed nothing’s been mentioned in a few weeks. — Scott
Is that your passive-aggressive way of calling me a Lazy Susan? If so, nicely played, my friend. Very subtle. Anywhoo, by now you probably know that episode 19 finds Lois concocting her very own superhero alter ego, Stiletto, in an effort to smoke out the Red Blue-Blur. (She attacks bad guys with her pointy heels. Get it?) Well, what you may not know is that in that same episode, Chloe willingly begins harboring a fugitive whose name rhymes with Broomsday. (Second hint: He turned her wedding day into a low-budget Cloverfield.) And being the dutiful hostess that she is, she even throws in free meals. Wait ’till you see what, er, who she serves for dinner on Day One.

Question: You publish an all Grey’s Anatomy special edition Ask Ausiello and say absolutely nothing about Mark and Lexie? Tsk tsk tsk, Mickey. I’m disappointed. But being the big person that I am, I’m giving you a chance to make up for it. So, what have you got? — Alexandra
You’re a peach, Alex. In tomorrow’s episode, Mark confesses his love for Lexie, but I’m attaching three asterisks to this spoiler. Asterisk 1: It’s actually Derek he tells. Asterisk 2: He doesn’t say it as much as he implies it.  Asterisk 3: Izzie *** ****  ******!

Question: Got any juicy Grey’s Anatomy scoop? — Martin

Ausiello: There was a rumor going around Friday that Katherine Heigl had finally wiggled her way

out of her Grey’s contract. However, an ABC insider vehemently denies it. The source

insists that Shonda Rhimes has already mapped out the final episodes of

the season and nothing in them points to an imminent Izzie exit. Well, except

for that whole ****** thing.

Question: Why do you torment me so? You decide to devote an entire column to

one show and you choose Grey’s Anatomy?! How about an all Supernatural

column? — Katy

Ausiello: Would you settle for an all Supernatural answer instead?

The final three episodes of the season can be summed up in three words:

Dean vs. Sam. Also, the kid who

plays Mary Louise Parker’s son, Shane, on Weeds has been cast as a ghost in a

spring episode.

Question: Any word on what will be up with Ryan when he returns to The Office? — Melanie

Ausiello: Let’s just say he’ll be a changed man and leave it at that.

Question: Does Balthazar Getty being on “recurring guest star

status next season on Brothers & Sisters mean that his plan to take over Ojai will fail, thus

leaving it entirely under Holly’s control? Please, say it ain’t so. —


Ausiello: She should be so lucky. No, another Walker will step in to replace Tommy by the end of the season, much to Holly’s horror.

Question: I wanted to float a theory I had concerning the possible

return of Amber (Anne Dudek) to House. Now, I’m no expert, but you

reported on a “cataclysmic” event that will occur on the show, and Hugh

Laurie said something about it mainly taking place in House’s head. I

think maybe that has something to do with Dudek’s resurfacing. Pure

speculation, but it seems she’ll

return in some sort of dream or hallucination sequence and not (fingers

crossed) as a ghost. — Cory

Ausiello: I can neither confirm nor deny your theory, but it makes

sense to me. Also making sense is the show’s decision to hire the

wonderfully wacky Judy Greer to guest star as an upcoming

patient-of-the-week. She’ll play a woman who claims a cat predicted her

death, because said cat only sleeps next to people who croak. That’s my


Question: Remember Law & Order? Scoop, please? — Jennifer

Ausiello: Shocker! The mothership is developing an episode

inspired by the Bernie Madoff scandal. The L&O version centers on a

wealthy businessman in his 70s named Arthur Madison whose entire empire

was financed by a Ponzi scheme. And now for the L&O twist: When the reporter who was about to blow

the whistle on him turns up dead, Madison’s wife becomes a prime


Question: Doesn’t your brother, David, work for the DEA? If so, you

should have some info on the new season of Spike’s DEA show, right?  —

David John

Ausiello: Right you are David, er, John (wink, wink). Here’s what I know: Season 2 starts next Tuesday and, based on this trailer, it looks amazing. Thanks for the question David, er, John!

Question: How about a scoop about Army Wives? — Carrie

Ausiello: The show is adding two new

characters, both of them African American. Viola is described as

vivacious, maternal and a new positive force for the wives. Terrence,

meanwhile, is an attractive community organizer in his 40s (It’s

Obama!) who specializes in mental health issues (Or not!).

Question: No fair! You wasted my birthday wish in that all-Grey’s AA! I demand NCIS scoop! — Chris
You say wasted, I say included for comic relief. Regardless, I do owe you an NCIS scoop. In an upcoming episode, McGee goes on an eBay tear when he tries to replace a coworker’s prized possession that he destroyed.

That’s a wrap! Send questions/answers/anonymous tips to ausielloscoop@ew.com. Thanks for playing! (Additional reporting by Andy Patrick, Carrie Bell and David Ausiello)

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