Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes | EW.com

TV

Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV's funniest lines from Jan. 30 to Feb. 5, 2009

”Ah, Marcia. She comes ? up to me with that ?ever-so-sexy smell of Doritos and tequila — I cannot help but be turned on by this girl.”
—Bret Michaels on Rock? of Love Bus

”I did miss work so.? The look of fear ?on people’s faces.”
—Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) on Ugly Betty

”Several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary…. Remember ?’spiderface’?? Because the quote was ‘Cut off your nose to spiderface.”’
—Jim (John Krasinski), roasting Michael Scott, ?on The Office

”Danny Bonaduce ?and Jose Canseco participated in a celebrity boxing match this weekend. This is why I have a money manager, so in 2025? I won’t be Jell-O-wrestling Tori Spelling. I have started taking steroids just in case, though.”
—Chelsea Handler on ?Chelsea Lately