The annual celebrity parade of red carpet amazingness is just getting underway. The ceremony might not start until 8:30, but we all know the show starts now.
Margaret Lyons: Who are you most looking forward to seeing tonight?
Lindsay Soll: Well, since we won’t be seeing the presenters on the carpet, I’m exited to see Kate Winslet (hopefully not in black) and Freida Pinto.
Lindsay: Those two choices are mostly due to fashion reasons.
Margaret: I’m really curious about what Anne Hathaway is going to wear.
Margaret: And really curious about what Mickey Rourke is going to say.
Lindsay: Same! I’m sure Rachel Zoe and her minions picked out something fab
Margaret: Here’s Ryan! Explaining how walking works!
Lindsay: Well you know, it’s quite difficult to walk for those in Hollywood.
Lindsay: I saw recent pics of Mickey and he had a necklace with a pic of his dog on. aww!
Margaret: He … uh … dazzled audiences at the Independent Spirit Awards last night. Homeboy has a potty mouth.
Lindsay: Ooh, I like Giuliana’s red dress.
Margaret: I don’t think the top fits very well.
Lindsay: That’s probably because she doesn’t eat. Unlike me – I’m anxiously awaiting food delivery.
Lindsay: Shocker! Someone’s pregnant in Hollywood!
Margaret: I like Nicole Ritchie and all – but, like, what does she have to do with the Oscars?
Lindsay: P.S. why is Nicole Ritchie’s name even being brought up? Hello, this is a legit event.
Margaret: It’s Miley!
Lindsay: Ha, jinx!
Margaret: I’m saying that in my best The Soup voice.
Lindsay: Okay, wow, that just went over my head. Let’s rewind back to Miley.
Lindsay: That was a lot of sparkle for a teen.
Margaret: It’s … a lot of dress.
Margaret: When did Ryan stop being blond?
Lindsay: I wonder if she knows how much the dress weighs.
Lindsay: Stylists should provide that info. And my barbecue cuisine needs to arrive during a commercial break.
Margaret: Does this make Miley and Emile Hirsch, like, the dweeby losers who show up first to a party?
And bring cherry Cokes?
Lindsay: Aww, but Emile was so good in Milk. He’s probably just excited because he got so snubbed last year with no nom for Into The Wild and all.
Margaret: A hundred thousand pounds?
Lindsay: That dress must provide a good workout. Forget cleanses.
Lindsay: Wonder who she’s star stalking – and nevermind: Angelina!
Margaret: I’m crying tears of throw-up. This is easily the most grating interview in the history of red carpet interviews.
Lindsay: And it’s making me excited for what’s to come!
Margaret: Ooooooh, Virginia Madsen! Hot cha!
Lindsay: I wish Miley and Emile would stand next to each other, he’s kind of short
Margaret: Also, he needs to shampoo. Hygiene is your friend, Emile.
Lindsay: He took more lessons away from Into The Wild than we thought.
Margaret: “Cheat her proportions”? Jay Manuel, stop stuff like that.
Lindsay: I find his voice kind of soothing. In a creepy way.
Margaret: I still think Miley’s dress is too much.
Lindsay: I love the bottom, I’ll admit it. But, yeah, not for her.
Margaret: No Emile interview? He’s actually in an Oscar-nominated movie.
Lindsay: I know, and one that may win tonight! Who you rooting for, for Best Picture?
Margaret: Slumdog I guess? How about you?
Lindsay: Same, though I have to say I’m a big Milk fan, too. And I’ll admit some of that’s due to my sort-of overboard obsession with James Franco.
Margaret: I just watched all of Freaks and Geeks in the span of, like, three days, and I have to say, it definitely made me a fan.
Lindsay: Yeah, come aboard my James Franco train – it’s awesome.
Margaret: It is a sexy, sexy train.
Lindsay: I hope we see him on the carpet tonight. If he can get away from his student duties at Columbia and all.
Margaret: I know, all that and smartypants too. Call me, James Franco!
Lindsay: Giuliana better not tell him to do the show with his shirt off, that joke is getting old.
Margaret: Not sure who that lady with the clipboard is, but ¡me gusta the gunmetal dress!
Lindsay: That is, Hugh, not Franco – he can do anything with his shirt off.
Margaret: I hope he tells the story of how he peed his pants once when he was playing Gaston in Beauty and the Beast.
Lindsay: Wait … what??
Margaret: That’s why the Hugh Jackman episode of Inside the Actors Studio is a classic.
Lindsay: I must’ve missed that one, darn DVR! There is a lot of hype about presenters tonight. Sure hope it’s worth it.
Margaret: Does anyone even care about the presenters? I feel like it only matters when they do something awesome/hilarious. I’m thinking of the Steve Carell/Will Ferrel make-up award from … a … few years ago?
Lindsay: Giuliana, stop touching the host, please.
Margaret: Hi, guy from Mamma Mia.
Lindsay: Hi, guy from Mamma Mia’s beard.
Lindsay: Dev Patel! Dev Patel! Come back!
Margaret: For reals. More Dev!
Lindsay: I just noticed, Jay’s hair is almost the same shade as his tux. Coincidence?
Margaret: It’s freaking me out.
Lindsay: We’re already 25 minutes in and have only seen, like, half a star.
Margaret: THERE’S A BLIMP?!
Lindsay: Maybe there needs to be, for E!’s innovative star tracker thingie to work. Did you hear about that?
Margaret: Yeah, it’s reminding me of the hologram business from CNN on election night. I like technology, but … let’s respect its limits, folks.
Lindsay: Soon we’re all going to be holograms who can be tracked via E!
Margaret: Hey, it’s Anthony Hopkins! Where have you been, Anthony?
Lindsay: Oh, here we go, explanation of the star tracker, a.k.a. stalking device.
Margaret: Taraji! Looking amazing in … greige?
Lindsay: I loved Taraji’s necklace.
Margaret: Wow, Zac, that hair is a big greasy don’t.
Lindsay: Very elegant. He apparently was going for the game-show-host look.
Margaret: Wow, wait, how tiny is Zac Efron? If Ryan is towering over him?
Lindsay: Did he just say “version” in a British accent?
Margaret: Nice, Vanessa. “Young Audrey Hepburn.” Keep dreaming! I say this as someone who’s seen HSM a number of times.
Lindsay: Luckily none of Zac’s hair gel rubbed off on Vanessa’s Marchesa dress.
Margaret: I couldn’t get a good look, but it seemed too busy on top for me. Too much stuff.
Lindsay: As a closet HSM fan, you must be counting down the minutes until their big number.
Margaret: No closet! I’m an out and proud HSM fan.
Lindsay: I’m a Zac fan, not so much Vanessa. Very interesting, though, how many award shows those two have been to this year (and by interesting, I mean perplexing).
Margaret: Agh, one of my favorite celeb couples ever!
Margaret: Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates. Oooow, my heart. I hope he sings.
Lindsay: Yes, right now we could use some excitement.
Margaret: Maybe he’ll come on Idolatry with us!
Lindsay: Phoebe seems more interested.
Margaret: Richard Jenkins, sporting a white knot – I wonder how many of those we’ll see tonight.
(Those are in support of marriage equality, FYI. Get it? Tie the knot?)
Lindsay: So, presenters are going to be revealed “dramatically.”
Lindsay: It’s like the rose ceremonies on The Bachelor: It’s the most shocking ceremony yet!
Margaret: Amy Adams looks guh-mazing.
Lindsay: Not sure I love the necklace she has paired with the cherry-red gown. I am happy to see the bright color, though.
Margaret: “Everyone wants to get a piece of Madonna’s after party.” That’s the creepiest phrase ever, I think.
Lindsay: Ken Baker can be kind of creepy, yes.
Margaret: I don’t think this star tracker thing is really enhancing anything.
Lindsay: Except for the idea that the carpet is jam-packed (or maybe those are all decoys).
Margaret: Yeah, packed with noncelebrities. That looked like a lot of people, and yet the only shout bubbles were for Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. Where’s my star track of Dev Patel?
Lindsay: I know, bring the Dev back. One of our readers said they saw him carrying a kid – we need more info.
Margaret: I think those were the kids from the movie, weren’t they? And … a page from my dream journal.
Lindsay: That would make me so happy. Maybe those little cutie pies are presenting?!?
Margaret: OMG, please, yes.
Margaret: I just gasped. Here we go!
Lindsay: Look, we’re psychic! Um, harsh Seacrest!
Margaret: Amazing. My heart is exploding.
Lindsay: There’s my girl Freida!
Margaret: Looking lovely.
Lindsay: LOVE it! As usual.
Margaret: Has Ryan Seacrest never spoken to a child before? “Those kids are delicious”? Thanks, Giuliana. What is up with the creep factor tonight?
Lindsay: Maybe that was a hint for her hubby? She wants in on the Hollywood trend. Finally, we have some real A-listers among us.
Margaret: Woah, Melissa Leo looks amazing. I did not recognize her, though. And I am the biggest Homicide fan on earth.
Lindsay: Gorgeous color, very flattering on her.
Lindsay: Homicide and HSM? Your interests vary widely.
Margaret: Here we go with Taraji’s dress
Lindsay: Roberto Cavalli does no wrong.
Margaret: Yay, Dev and Freida!
Lindsay: Does she ever not look gorgeous? Wait, is there no glam cam action?
Margaret: Why is no one talking about how Dev Patel is only 18? Aw, this is so cute, they love John Legend.
Lindsay: Why does Angelina’s name always have to come up? There are other celebrities in the world, Seacrest.
Lindsay: Do we think Freida would actually admit if she’s being courted L.A. style?
Margaret: Freida Pinto FTW! Making jokes, looking gorgeous, putting Seacrest in his place.
Lindsay: There’s Brolin! I’ve become a big fan of his this year.
Margaret: Robert Pattinson is here after all. Hellooooo. Yeah, Josh Brolin is definitely having a moment.
Margaret: Heidi Klum, I am not loving that.
Lindsay: Me neither. Too many jagged edges. I think Mr. Boyle’s going to end up with a statue tonight.
Margaret: Danny Boyle is so charming. And if you haven’t been watching Skins, you guys, start. I really dig it.
Margaret: Viola Davis looks like a million bucks.
Lindsay: I need to watch Skins – everyone in our office keeps talking about it.
Margaret: It’s good, but I feel weird seeing the little kid from About A Boy acting all grown up.
Lindsay: Heidi’s hair is a little too patted down, much like Zac Efron’s was.
Margaret: WE GET IT, HEIDI KLUM HAS GREAT LEGS. I still don’t love it.
Lindsay: No, Margaret, you needed to be reminded at all times.
Margaret: Wait, was that … Spanx? Or just bike shorts?
Lindsay: Totally yes.
Margaret: Poor Ryan. It’s hard being funny.
Lindsay: Speaking of clothes, in case anyone’s wondering, both Seacrest and Hugh Jackman will be outfitted by Burberry. Not that those two names should be in the same sentence.
Margaret: Heidi and Seal, another fave couple.
Lindsay: Marisa Tomei looked a little too serious there.
Margaret: Amanda “Lilly Kane” Seyfreid should lose the bow, methinks.
Lindsay: I missed the alleged bow!
Margaret: Hey, bring me Judd Apatow, Seacrest!
Margaret: So, it looks like we’re finally getting into the good stuff. So far, dress trends? I’m thinking red with architectural details is the biggie so far. School me with fashion wisdom, Lindsay.
Lindsay: 20 bucks Seacrest asks Amanda Seyfreid if she’s dating Dominic Cooper.
Margaret: Aww, I think they’re cute.
Lindsay: Yeah lots of red, and lots of statement pieces. Did you see how many bracelets Heidi had on her frail arm?
Margaret: Fo reals! They looked heavy.
Lindsay: I’m surprised we haven’t seen much purple yet. Maybe Winslet will be wearing it. That color would look fab on her.
Margaret: My money is on electric blue, just because I heard it was the big trend this season.
Margaret: Hello, Seth Rogen.
Lindsay: Ah yes, though she did do that for the SAG awards.
Lindsay: Wow, Seth is half his size.
Margaret: SJP, that dress is out of control.
Lindsay: Ha! Jay is at a loss for words on that dress.
Margaret: Please, Lord, let Jay be at a loss for more words.
Lindsay: Also, can we discuss SJP’s hair?
Margaret: Brunets represent!
Lindsay: Okay, officially loving Amy Adams’ dress now that it’s been “glamastrated.”
Margaret: Amanda Seyfreid is going to be singing tonight?!
Lindsay: Yes, supposedly with Zac, Vanessa, and Dominic.
Margaret: Ooooh, Anne Hathaway is having trouble walking. That means the dress is too tight, peach.
Lindsay: Wow, Melissa’s George’s dress, great until you scroll down.
Margaret: It’s reminding me of January Jones’ dress from a few months ago.
Margaret: Still with the scruffy hair.
Lindsay: No, it’s not a joke, Rob, please see EW’s cover last week.
Lindsay: And with a date. Insert my major sad face here.
Margaret: Who is he with? Other than, you know, my sworn enemy?
Lindsay: I know, these are the real issues people!
Lindsay: SJP is “barely mint,” and I’m barely shocked by the amount of cleavage we’re seeing.
Margaret: Yikes, Matthew Broderick’s hair looks scary.
Lindsay: Is it highlighted?
Margaret: Holy bejebus, Robert Downey Jr. looks smokin’ hot.
Lindsay: Speaking of people with three initials…
Lindsay: Yes, RDJ, you look dashing.
Margaret: Seth Rogen is awesome.
Lindsay: Was it Marisa’s dress that you thought was like January Jones’ sky-blue one? Because I think you’re right.
Margaret: How come we didn’t get to see the Judd Apatow interview?
Margaret: No, I meant the lingerie-ish one she wore to the Emmys looking like Melissa George’s tonight.
Margaret: Marisa’s dress is pretty intense.
Lindsay: I guess that means January Jones’ has a lot of followers.
Lindsay: What say you about Anne Hathaway’s dress? I like it, but I need a better close-up.
Margaret: It’s sparkly?
Lindsay: Ha, yes, it is! I think we just saw her grab her dad’s hand – it was sweet.
Lindsay: A lot of people want to see her win, but it seems like it may be a long shot with Winslet and Meryl in her category.
Margaret: I am not loving Anne’s dress.
Margaret: Marisa Tomei’s not a Ryan Seacrest fan, apparently.
Lindsay: Yeah, she’s giving him death stares.
Margaret: Um, Sophia Loren looking … a little … leathery…
Lindsay: Beyonce, as usual, has some sort of gold on her body.
Margaret: Beyonce’s dress? Painted on?
Lindsay: Mickey, startled by Seacrest – as many people are.
Margaret: Here comes fun! Mickey Rourke put off by Ryan’s annoying lefty handshake.
Margaret: Aw, don’t make him talk about Loki!
Lindsay: I know. And is that “irony”? I don’t think it is.
Margaret: Wow, 18 is old for a chihuahua.
Margaret: Diane and Josh, creating high jinks.
Lindsay: Jay totally just retracted his thoughts on SJP’s dress, but we all know what he was really thinking.
Lindsay: Random thought of the night: Diane’s lip color looks gorgeous on her.
Margaret: Diane Lane looking radiant, and Josh Brolin might actually be interesting?
Margaret: Also with a white knot, for people keeping score at home.
Margaret: Queen Latifah will be singing the song for the RIP montage? Hmm.
Margaret: Jessica Beil is on the phone!
Lindsay: I did a post-Oscar morning nominations interview with Brolin and loved him.
Margaret: That hair is a mess, Ms. Biel.
Lindsay: Her hair was probably confused why she’s attending the Oscars.
Margaret: Heh. Go back to the Camdens, Biel!
Lindsay: I’m going to go ahead and put my approval vote out on Anne’s dress. It’s different, which is why I like it.
Margaret: Ryan asks Ron Howard about the Arrested Development movie! Wow, did I not expect that.
Margaret: Marion Cotillard in the black-and-blue sparkletron.
Margaret: “I think I can smell you.”
Lindsay: Marion looks amazing. Her fish-like dress made a splash (pun intended) last year.
Margaret: Ryan, that was weird.
Margaret: Evan Rachel Wood looks great.
Lindsay: I’m not sure I love that color on her pale skin though.
Margaret: I think the hair color looks good, though.
Lindsay: Wow, Biel’s dress has the same problem that Katy Perry’s did at the Grammys
… birth of a bow and/or corsage
Margaret: Star Tracker, can you please point to more people!? Who are the rest of those people?
Margaret: First Jolie sighting of the night!
Lindsay: Stop the presses: She’s wearing black.
Lindsay: It’s sort of funny how excited Giuliana just got at the Brangelina sighting. Doesn’t she see them, um, all the time?
Margaret: Seriously. Way to keep your cool, G.
Lindsay: Does Seacrest need to pronounce “Barcelona” that way?
Margaret: It’s like how Giada on Food Network over-pronounces Italian food words. Worst.
Margaret: Seriously, Philip Seymour Hoffman? Wool hat?
Lindsay: Bond sighting!
Margaret: Daniel Craig, nom nom nom.
Margaret: Kate Winslet!
Lindsay: She’s in PURPLE!
Margaret: It looked grey to me (or a shade of it)
Lindsay: You may be right, my 12-inch TV is not HD.
Margaret: Oh man, Penelope Cruz looks like an angel in that dress.
Lindsay: She likes that silhouette. It reminds me of the baby-pink one.
Margaret: Does the top of Angelina’s dress not fit right?
Margaret: Not into Jessica Biel’s dress, which is too long.
Lindsay: Jay is way too nice. He needs to learn to be, you know, honest.
Lindsay: Purple or grey – I’m LOVING Kate’s dress. Big fan of the one shoulder.
Margaret: Steel grey! I win. I like it – very fashion-forward, very different.
Lindsay: So who are we missing? Aniston?
Margaret: Cate Blanchett?
Lindsay: Oh yes, good call. And Streep. C’mon, ladies!
Margaret: We saw her briefly, but she didn’t get the Seacrest treatment.
Margaret: Theeeeere’s Tilda Swinton.
Lindsay: And the reason Star Tracker was invented: Brangelina.
Margaret: Kate Winslet is so adorbs when she imitates her kids. Well, now we know who Ryan’s rooting for.
Lindsay: His ego?
Lindsay: Our readers are not loving Sir Ben Lyons, and I can see why.
Margaret: IS that Alicia Keys?
Lindsay: I think so! One word: Wow.
Margaret: I wanted to see Natalie Portman, who I think is in pink, too.
Lindsay: Yeah, bubble-gum pink, it seemed. By the way, Biel’s dress was by Prada. Surprising, yes?
Lindsay: I liked the reader below who said it looked like Project Runway concoction.
Margaret: OK, so E! is wrapping things up. Time to switch to ABC!
Lindsay: Yes, time to check in with Entertainment Weekly’s very own, Managing Editor Jess Cagle … but not before some RDJ.
Margaret: Wow, Robert Downey Jr. cleans up nice, but is that a gray collar on that suit?
Lindsay: He looks so dang young when he shaves. Maybe his razor is magic.
Margaret: Robin is RIPPED.
Lindsay: Yes, how can i get those arms?
Margaret: I’m liking Kate’s dress more and more.
Lindsay: I like Tim Gunn more and more, too.
Margaret: I miss ProRu.
Lindsay: Oh, I’ve never heard that nickname!
Margaret: Awww, Tim Gunn is cracking me up.
Lindsay: You think Jess will ask about SATC sequel?
Lindsay: Spoke too soon.
Margaret: Heh. Also, maybe that dress isn’t as bad as I thought?
Lindsay: Maybe the E! cameras enhances things, if you know what I mean.
Margaret: Bad-hance things, I guess.
Lindsay: Smooth transition, Jess.
Margaret: Wow, Brangelina did NOT want to talk to Tim Gunn!
Margaret: Frownface on that.
Lindsay: Oh wait, it seems Angelina had a speck of color on her – her green earrings.
Lindsay: I don’t think they want to talk to anybody but themselves. Or their children.
Margaret: Hey, where’s Reese Witherspoon?
Lindsay: Ha! Did that montage make you miss her?
Margaret: Indeed. Also, sorry, I just laughed out loud at Valentino.
Lindsay: He’s a man of fabric, Margaret, not words.
Margaret: I want to pet his hair. It looks so fluffy.
Margaret: Also, I want to get a picture of these Slumdog kids tattooed on my face. Best!
Lindsay: Oh, look at that, no one’s holding up papers with names on them.
Margaret: Wow, Mickey Rourke’s pants are tiiiiiiight.
Margaret: Jess, ask to see that dog tux!
Lindsay: Jean Paul Gaultier doesn’t like to leave room for breathing.
Lindsay: I think we’ve heard Vanessa say “incredible” at least 10 times now.
Lindsay: Reader “Simon” just pointed out the ABC pre-show seems a little rushed, and I have to agree.
Margaret: I’m thinking some of this was taped slightly earlier in the evening, which i think is contributing to the choppiness.
Margaret: I think part of it is? I’m just guessing – we know Miley got there two hours ago. She hasn’t been standing outside that whole time. I’ve only been blogging, and I’m more or less pooped.
Lindsay: Yeah speaking of which, minus Hannah Montana, Jess seems to be getting a nice crop of stars his way.
Lindsay: We should predict who else we think we’ll stop for our guy.
Lindsay: Maybe Sean Penn, too?
Lindsay: Lots of people are wondering where Christian Bale is.
Margaret: Maybe he got sent in the secret fancy door? Because ABC is trying to trick us into watching the ceremony?
Lindsay: Oh yes, or maybe he’s in jail? I kid, I kid.
Margaret: Streep! She looks fantastic.
Lindsay: Finally! An age-appropriate gown, very pretty.
Margaret: Poor Tim Gunn, the lines they’re giving him are really corny.
Lindsay: I know, right? He’s quite charming when he’s not, you know, being fed lines.
Margaret: Richard Jenkins, you will always be Late Nate (from Six Feet Under) to me.
Lindsay: Late Nate and Robin look like they’re the same height.
Lindsay: Jess found his way to the bar – score!
Margaret: Jack Black, always funsies.
Margaret: Wow, Marisa’s dress is incredible. I too have never seen such gorgeous pleating.
Margaret: Yay, finally, my Judd Apatow interview.
Lindsay: I would probably save James Franco from that date of his.
Lindsay: Who would you save Margaret?
Margaret: Dev Patel, so we could be BFFs for ever and ever.
Lindsay: and the other Slumdog kids, too, right?
Margaret: Totes. Hmm, must they advertise for the Oscars during this preshow? They’re making the show sound even boring-er.
Lindsay: I know, we get it: We need to watch the ACTUAL telecast. Well, that was fun. Who’s your best dressed, before we sign off?
Lindasy: Freida and Winslet.
Margaret: Penelope Cruz for me. And with that, we’re passing the live-blog baton over to Mandi and Thom for the main event. Thanks, everyone!
Lindsay: Enjoy the show!