Mandi Bierly
May 14, 2009 AT 08:37 PM EDT

Producer Neal Moritz (Fast & Furious) is planning to reboot the 1993 Sylvester Stallone film Cliffhanger. “Just as they rebooted Star Trek, we’re going to do the same with Cliffhanger,” Moritz told Variety . This statement seems ridiculous for multiple reasons:

1) In the words of Mike Bruno, does he mean “broaden its appeal beyond the geeky Cliffhanger die-hards who hold Cliffhanger conventions and such?”

2) Even though I believe that the opening sequence of that Renny Harlin-directed action movie is one of the best ever, I’ve never found myself wondering what a young Gabe (Stallone) and Hal (Michael Rooker) were like. I haven’t spent the last 16 years wishing I knew how Gabe (Stallone) and Jessie (Janine Turner) met. I had to look up Jessie’s name just now.

3) I get that Cliffhanger is a pretty great title for an action-thriller about rock climbing, but why couldn’t they just come up with an original concept. I find it interesting that Moritz’s production company is called Original Films and yet it’s also attached to a remake of Kurt Russell’s Escape From New York.

P.S. If you’re going to revisit the Stallone and Russell canons, wouldn’t a Tango & Cash redux be more economical? I would actually enjoy seeing what LA’s top cops were like in their prime…

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