Scott Brown’s Hit List
1. Clay Aiken backs off from his comment about Adam Lambert making his ears bleed
”What I meant to say is ‘Congratulations to me, for going from Awesomest Runner-up Ever to Second-Awesomest Runner-up Ever.”’
2. Hayden Panettiere’s back tattoo appears to be misspelled Italian
Kids: Never get your tattoos done at the Olive Garden. Right now it translates as ”Try our bottomless pasta bowl!”
3. Jay books Conan as his final guest on The Tonight Show
One wonders if O’Brien is aware of the clause in Leno’s contract that allows him to kill and eat his final guest.
4. Pop diva Lady GaGa: ”I like boys that look like girls”
Then congrats, m’Lady — you’re in precisely the right industry!
5. Billy Joel sued by ex-drummer for overdue royalties
Because where would Billy Joel songs be without all that unforgettable drumming?
6. The New York Times asks if the Jonas Brothers are fizzling out
Their reporting is based on the fact that Maureen Dowd has replaced their poster with a Suite Life of Zack & Cody one-sheet.
7. Denise Richards enjoys a pleasant lunch with Charlie Sheen’s new wife, Brooke
Elsewhere in America, the lion lay down with the lamb, and Rush Limbaugh agreed to seven-minutes-in-heaven with Al Franken.
8. In the works: The Real Housewives of D.C.
So…the show’s pretty much gonna revolve around Bill Clinton, right?
9. Evangeline Lilly praises Angelina Jolie as ”a complete ice queen”
”Seriously, she’s, like, Narnia-witch icy. If I were a computer-generated beaver, I’d be running for my life right now.”
10. Demi Moore posts picture of herself missing a tooth
So adorable! Now her big-girl teeth will come in, and, after that, maybe she’ll get a real, grown-up husband.