Jeff Labrecque
June 12, 2009 AT 09:25 PM EDT

On June 10, 2007, The Sopranos faded to black to the tune of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Within hours, the 1981 anthem rocketed up iTunes Top 100 list. More than two years later, it’s still there, sitting comfortably at No. 55 — taunting me. I do not own “Don’t Stop Believin’.” I will not own “Don’t Stop Believin’.” But apparently, I am alone in loathing this song. I’m amazed — not just by it’s longevity, but by the sheer mathematics of it. Doesn’t everyone already have it by now? Who’s still buying it? I’m half-convinced that this is some bizarre Journey fan-club conspiracy similar to how Scientologists used to guarantee L. Ron Hubbard’s book were best-sellers?

Are you to blame for my continued exposure to Journey’s ubiquitous power ballad? Admit it: Are you purchasing the song digitally multiple times? What compromising pictures does Steve Perry have of you? And do you now hate me for sorta crapping on your favorite song of all time?

Do you have a song that everyone else loves that makes you twitch uncontrollably? (It better not be “Sweet Caroline.”)

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