Jeff Jensen
June 12, 2009 AT 12:00 PM EDT

There’s no question that the sight of Brad Pitt on the side of the road would stop traffic. But stop motorists from speeding? They’re giving it a try in Russia: Our old Cold War foes, always so progressive and innovative in their approach to law enforcement, are now putting cardboard cutouts of Angelina Jolie’s hunky, very happy partner dressed as a traffic cop at dangerous intersections in Siberia in order to get drivers there to slow down. (Good lord, it’s Siberia! What are they in such a rush for–you know, besides leaving?) According to the Associated Press, the campaign seems to be effective, and flesh-and-blood Siberian cops consider their cardboard Pitts “kind of like a colleague.”

All of which begs the question: If you had a cardboard cut-out of Brad Pitt dressed up as a police officer, how would you use him to fight crime? In general, if you had a life-sized inanimate replica of Brad Pitt at your disposal, what would you do with it? (Nothing in the Lars and the Real Girl vein, please.) 

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