In a Playboy interview hitting stands Friday, Alec Baldwin talks all about “that voicemail”, how it leaking almost drove him to suicide, and how he'll never return to the Today show because Matt Lauer did an interview with TMZ's Harvey Levin before phoning him. Juicy stuff, even if it's two years old, but what I find most interesting is Baldwin talking about the future. He plans on retiring after 30 Rock – “I'm done in 2012. In March 2012, I'll wake up and say, 'What am I going to do now? Am I done?' I think I will be done. I may finish a play or something, but I'm retiring at the wrap party” – and dreams of having a tabloid-free personal life.
“I have this silly fantasy,” he says. “I get married again, I have a kid. I'd love another shot at that, with everything I've learned. My kid's like eight, comes home and says, 'Dad, Jimmy's mom says you were a famous actor on TV and in the movies. Is that true?' And I go, 'Yes, Johnny, Dad was famous.' I whip out my scrapbooks and my DVDs and say, 'Believe it or not, that's your dad.' And my kid's like, 'You used to be on TV and everything? And now you stay home and just clean the house all day while Mom works?' 'That's right, son.' It's a dream, that the kid doesn't know anything about that part of my life. Our normal life is uncontaminated by it.”
If he's serious about that, I definitely think he could make it happen. Step 1: Stop talking about “that voicemail.” We'd almost forgotten about it. Step 2: If Demi Moore still has her property in Idaho, buy it from her. Step 3: Move in. Step 4: Do not run for public office (an idea he's toying with), just be the president of the PTA at your fictional son's school. That's pretty much it. I don't see paparazzi caring enough about a Baldwin brother – even the Oscar-nominated, Emmy-winning one – to stake out bake sales.* Being an older actor, with a large amount of good will from what would be six seasons of 30 Rock, can have its advantages in this tabloid culture, Alec.
*Or frankly, even to follow you around New York City once you're off 30 Rock, provided you don't do or say something stupid in public.