Annie Barrett
June 17, 2009 AT 07:53 PM EDT

I used to casually look away when it came on, but to no avail: The Wendy‘s commercial about the “Frosty Posse” has taken over the already-tiny “useful” section of my brain. By knowing it so well, I’ve elevated myself to “fairly in the know” status re: Top 40 music. This couldn’t be lamer. But it’s not entirely my fault. The song — which may have inspired Jay-Z’s “D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)” — is an entire minute long!

A friend of mine used to joke that I have at least a 10 percent chance of dying (happily) with my lips firmly suctioned to the spout of a Frosty machine. Seriously, what a way to go.

Should fast food ads quit trying to be music videos? I say no. But if you happen to be sitting across the subway car from me as I accidentally implement eye contact while mouthing the salacious line “Ooh, baby. Do you wanna get Frosty with me?” I could see how you, baby, might answer otherwise.

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