G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra | EW.com

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G.I. Joe: The Rise of CobraPretty much exactly what you'd expect from the other Hasbro movie of the summer, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra makes G.I. Joe: The Rise of CobraAction/AdventurePretty much exactly what you'd expect from the other Hasbro movie of the summer, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra makes 2009-08-07Sienna MillerMarlon WayansSienna Miller, Marlon Wayans
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

(Frank Masi)

D

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Genre: Action/Adventure; Starring: Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Marlon Wayans; Director: Stephen Sommers; Author: Stuart Beattie, David Elliot, Paul Lovett; Release Date Wide: 08/07/2009; Status: In Season

Pretty much exactly what you’d expect from the other Hasbro movie of the summer, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra makes Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen look like high art. The F/X are relentless, the acting is god-awful (et tu, Dennis Quaid?), the one-liners are corny, and it goes on forever. Worst of all, the rah-rah teen-targeted flick fetishizes shiny military weaponry to such a degree that it feels like a really expensive (and really irresponsible) recruitment ad. Don’t go expecting an escapist night at the movies; go expecting to be cudgeled into numb, drooling submission. D

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