Leah Greenblatt
August 17, 2009 AT 07:55 PM EDT

ABC’s perennially popular D-list disco Dancing with the Stars has always had an admirably bendy definition of the word “star,” and this season is no exception (disgraced former Republican House Majority Whip? Yes! Boot-leather offspring best known for Shannen Doherty minute-marriage? Why not!).

Now, the full cast lineup for DWTS season 9 is official (set your Tivos for September 21st, pasodoblers), and the sheer volume and random-osity of singers on the roster is kind of blowing our minds:

Who else predicts a backstage blowout between Kelly Osbourne and Macy Gray, color-treated hair fluff a-flying? Will Aaron Carter get all “I Want Candy” on AWOL R&B baby-diva Mya? Will anyone sit with Donny Osmond at lunch in the studio caf? Inquiring minds want to know!

But you tell me, Music Mixers — who do you think will take it the furthest this season? And who are your favorite musical contestants of seasons past — tiny pistol Lil’ Kim? Boy-banderz-to-men Joey McIntire (of NKOTB) and Lance Bass (N’Sync?) The whirling Spice dervish that was Mel B?

While you ponder, enjoy this clip of 98 Degrees’ Drew Lachey, the show’s only non soap star/Olympic athlete/Baywatch race-car driver to ever rise all the way to season-champ glory:

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