Annie Barrett
September 02, 2009 AT 04:00 PM EDT

In a gesture of disrespect to both the concept of aristocracy and the late Michael Jackson, that idiot Spencer Pratt wishes to be known henceforth as King Spencer Pratt. According to that idiot’s rep, “Spencer says that if there is a Queen of England and Prince William, there should be a King of America and he nominates himself for the title. He plans to make the change as soon as possible — probably this week.” Please let this “change” involve surgery and someone please alert the not-sober anesthesiologist from Grey’s Anatomy.

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