Mandi Bierly
September 25, 2009 AT 07:29 PM EDT

ABC will announce the identity of the next Bachelor on Oct. 13, and sources are telling People that it will “likely” be one of Bachelorette Jillian’s castoffs: Kiptyn, Reid, or Jake. This is a huge commitment. Not quite like a real marriage, but considering my DVR, Peter, is my life partner and he will be recording every episode of the next season of The Bachelor regardless, its effects are long-term. So, let’s talk seriously. First, make your pick in the poll below. Then, click through to read my analysis and selection. Finally, justify your choice in the comments section. Break!

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Jake (pictured, right): Slezak would probably break every former Idol CD in his office if the trustworthy, tall but dull Texan gets the call. I wouldn’t do anything that drastic: I feel like Jake is actually a decent guy who’s looking for love, and that if we’d gotten to go to his hometown, we might have seen him let loose and show a real personality. Still, not my guy.

Kiptyn (left): He’s hot, articulate, likes to be shirtless, and has no problem making out in front of cameras. He’s who I think producers will select, but not the one I (nor Peter) wants to watch each week. I just envision producers loading the pool with even more bikini’d babes than usual, and the first-night fawning over him would be amped up to such a degree that I’d get a visit from the cops asking me to quiet down because I wouldn’t have had enough pillows to muffle my empathetic screams of mortification.

Reid (center): Here’s the thing: Every season we’re told how difficult it is to choose between the final 2. Every year, we see people falling in love way too quickly. I vote Reid as the next Bachelor. We’ve already established that he’s genuinely indecisive, which would be fun to watch, and I don’t think he’d judge women who are unable to pronounce their lust/love for him on the first solo date. He’d also be the first Bachelor I’d have felt like I could have actually met through friends — and liked. And that makes me curious about the women who’d sign up to meet him. Maybe a greater portion of them would be normal ladies who happen to find funny, neurotic East Coasters sexy. (What? It could happen!)

Photo credit: Kevin Foley/ABC

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