It was a Parks and Recreation of mass consumption last night. Ron ate his weight in breakfast buffet foods, Andy got a piece of closure pie, and I finally got the big helping of Tom-centric story line that I’ve been craving.
We began at the Parks office where Leslie was given the daunting task of going to the fourth floor, home of the Department of Motor Vehicles, probation central, and divorce court. While on the floor of doom, she sees Tom and Wendy walking out of divorce court. Distraught over the misfortune of her fellow employee, Leslie enlists everyone’s help to cheer up Tom, who (at least at the beginning) doesn’t need it.
Tom confesses to Ron that his and Wendy’s nuptial was a Green Card Marriage. She’s Canadian (Pfft, that was totally my first thought, too.). Nonetheless, he agrees to put on a sad act so Leslie can stop bugging him about it.
Off in Still Not Over You Land, Andy continues his harassment of Mark and Ann, claiming that he’s slowly chipping away at their relationship, when he actually was chipping away at my nerves. I’d like to see something new with Andy in the coming weeks. I think it would help him be a more appealing character and help push the Mark/Ann relationship into more exciting territory.
Back with the group, the entire department begins Operation Happy by going out for a classy dinner at Jurassic Fork, where Tom continued his sad ruse. We also learned that Ann hates splitting checks, Jerry wishes he had Tom’s body (uhm… in a non creepy way), and Donna wants to put Tom in a little cape and hat and fly him around (huh?).
At dinner, Ron asks for Tom’s permission to ask Wendy on a date (”Looking at her, I think she might be the perfect spooning size for me,” Ron reasons). Tom gives the green light, but comes to a bit of a revelation: He’s not okay with it.
A post-dinner game of pool also produces a revelation for Andy: He sucks at pool. After losing two games to Mark, the two wager Ann. In the end, win or lose, Ann goes home with Mark. The next day, Andy vows to leave them alone. Yeah, we’ll see how long that lasts.
After Tom’s epiphany, even Leslie-funded lap dances from a stripper named Ciara (or Seabiscuit, as Leslie hears) at the breakfast-buffet-serving Glitter Factory can’t help him kick his now-genuine divorce blues. He gets plastered, and Leslie and Ron take him home to Wendy, who is entertaining the company of a new man (much to Leslie’s chagrin).
The next day, Tom comes clean to Leslie about his and Wendy’s arrangement (and his feelings for ex), and the two bond over the impossibly difficult task of removing post-evening glitter from various areas of the body.
Best lines of the night:
”At least we lasted longer than Avril Lavigne and that guy from Sum 41. ” - Tom, on his failed marriage
”I like pretending to be sad. I now know why girls do it. ” – Tom
”There’s a girl here (at the strip club) who also works at Quiznos. She’s really nice to me here, but really mean to me at Quiznos” - Tom
”It takes forever to get off. My crotch looks like a disco ball.” – Tom, on stripper Glitter
Now (and most importantly), what did you think of ”Tom’s Divorce?” Was it about time for a Tom episode? Want to see more Tom? Does Andy need a new love? Don’t worry, I won’t make you go to the fourth floor to make your case. You can sound off below!