Annie Barrett
December 04, 2009 AT 03:15 PM EST

During a press conference Thursday, humor-deficient U.S. speedskater Shani Davis called Stephen Colbert a “jerk” for the late-night host’s Nov. 5 Canada-bashing segment, embedded below. Either the guy just doesn’t get it, or he wants his own Report segment so bad he’d pay the $300,000 Colbert raised for U.S. speedskating just to score it. This is bizarre. At least the story gives us an excuse to watch Colbert squeeze in one of his favorite Olive Garden references. It’s hospitaliano!

Some of our Canadian readers (Meghan, Dory, fullojoy, seethemusic, Mikos) left comments in last night’s News Brief suggesting that smart Canadians enjoy when Colbert mocks Canada because it reminds them he remembers they exist. That’s pretty cute. A tip of my PopWatch-sponsored floppy teal beret to all of the Canadian Iceholes reading this while trapped in a snowbank!

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