Chris Nashawaty
December 18, 2009 AT 05:00 AM EST

1. Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus (2009, Not Rated)
With a title like that and a star turn from former pop idol Debbie Gibson, this monster mash-up should’ve been a guilty pleasure, not schlock.

2. How to Be (2009, Not Rated)
Twilight‘s Robert Pattinson plays a British loser on a queasy quest for enlightenment…somewhere a teenage girl is watching this and falling madly out of love.

3. Howard the Duck (1986, PG)
A close second to Jar Jar Binks on George Lucas’ rap sheet of cinematic crimes. It took ages for this fowl turd to get a release. Too bad it didn’t take longer.

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