Lynette Rice
January 26, 2010 AT 05:59 AM EST

Jack Bauer said a lot of dammits, Fantastic Sam rounded up the hometown traitors, and Farhad got busy with a couple Russian hotties while we finally – finally! – learned what that nasty Kevin has on Dana: CTU’s tow-headed data analyst is really an ex-con who was an accessory to murder! I repeat what I said last week – I don’t quite understand how she snagged a job at the mother of all get-the-bad-guy government agencies and yet still managed to hide her true identity – but I’m starting to warm to this C-story if only for the acting talents of TV actor Clayne Clawford (CSI, Criminal Minds, Cold Case – you name it) as Kevin. Man, but he plays one frightening ex-partner-in-crime!

Now chilaxing in Dana’s bachelorette pad, Kevin is demanding that Dana use her mad skillz to rustle up six figures for a yet-to-be-named task or purchase. Not that it matters; I’m sure we can all agree that Kevin’s threats won’t stop there, nor will Dana flinch and actually come clean to Hastings and Cole. It’s only a matter of time before Kevin threatens to kill off Dana’s fiance so I’m sure the six-figure demands will grow to become seven or even eight figures – whatever it takes for the producers to show Dana twisting in the wind while putting her job and engagement at risk. That relationship seems doomed anyway, especially since it’s already looking like Arlo – not Cole – will ultimately be the prince who comes to her aid.

Back in or around the UN, Fantastic Sam is futilely attempting to save his marriage while having his security forces in the Islamic Republic of Kamistan (suspend your disbelief, 24 fans!) hunt down and potentially kill any baddos who oppose his regime as much as his brother Farhad, who seems awfully close to securing those de-commissioned Soviet warheads from the stoic Sergei Bazhaev. Money will be wired shortly, Farhad promises; they both just has to wait (thus the need for a little “distraction” from those Russky babes). In the meantime, Bazhaev’s youngest son is still writhing in pain from having transported those nasty nukes – which is enough to prompt his eldest sibling Josef (hey, isn’t that Adam Monroe from Heroes?) to disobey his father’s orders and whisk his baby bro off to a doctor. Will the MD end up spreading the news about the man’s radiation poisoning, which in turn will expose Bazhaev? Who knows… that’s all we got from the Kamistan and Russian fronts this week. Kinda ho-hum, no?

And then, we have Renee. My esteemed colleague Dalton Ross is not too impressed by Annie Werschling’s attempts to look and act tough (it’s gonna take a lot more than a thick application of black eyeliner, I agreed) but girlfriend is definitely on a suicide mission while working on behalf of CTU to infiltrate the Russian mob. As we learned from Ziya (R.I.P., sucker), Renee once took a real beating from this guy Vladimir, who now seems to be the link that she needs to get her back in deep – real deep – with the syndicate. Fortunately, her I-don’t-give-a-damn speech at the end of the episode was enough to convince Vlad that her intentions were real, so Renee lives to see another day and the mission remains on track.

All in all, a pretty uneventful episode in terms of forwarding the plot, but I did enjoy Jack’s liberal use of the word dammit and how we are starting to learn that Fantastic Sam is not turning out to be the peace-loving, human rights respecting leader that President Taylor thought he would be (and for more on Sam’s, aka Anil Kapoor’s fabulous hair, be sure to pick up the next issue of EW on stands Friday). I’m obsessed, I’m tell you!

And a quick programming note for you devoted readers: many apologies to fans of Dan Snierson who used to write the 24 TV watches until he was asked to take on Glee this season. Plus, he’s preparing to co-host Totally Lost with the marvelous Doc Jensen starting next week and is now writing the Hit List column in the magazine.  Have you read it?

So what did you think of the episode?  Do you think this is the last we will see of Dalia, Hassan’s soon-to-be-ex-wife? Have you had it with Dana? By the way, we didn’t see (much of) Rob and Ethan – Taylor’s right-hand men – in this week’s episode but I sensed tension between these two during the show’s first two hours. Are you, like me, expecting something ugly to develop between these two, as well? Start sounding off now, dammit!

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