Wendy Mitchell
February 04, 2010 AT 09:00 PM EST

I tried to watch an episode of Lost while visiting my parents house last year and my mom walked in and did the “who’s she?” “what’s he doing now?” “why does that statue have four toes?” questioning routine, which simply will NOT work with Lost. There is no quick premise that you can explain during a commercial break.

For those of us who are obsessed with the show (even at a casual, not-up-to-the-Doc-Jensen-challenge level), it’s hard to imagine that there are people out there who haven’t been following Locke and Ben’s every move. What the heck would these newbies think if they tried to jump into the show?

Newsweek recruited some of its staffers who have never seen Lost to attempt to explain scenes from the show. It’s hilarious. I especially like the New Yorker who thinks that the only white animals are cats and dogs (time to get to Central Park Zoo, buddy!), asks what everyone on The Island does for toilet paper, and says Sawyer looks “like Fabio.” And the woman who says that Ben “looks like a pedophile,” and the guy who calls Jack “Party of Five guy.”

Lost watchers, have you tried to make any converts with season 6, and if so, how did you prep them (DVD box sets, recap specials, or hand-drawn timelines)? And non-Lost watchers, has anyone tried and failed to convert you this year? If you were a newbie tuning in for the season 6 premiere this week, how confused were you?

You May Like