Michael Ausiello
March 19, 2010 AT 04:00 AM EDT

Chuck Finale Will Shock, Satisfy, and Disturb
The two-hour season finale for Chuck sounds so bad it’s bound to be brilliant. The episode, airing May 24, will feature the debut of the first-ever music video by Buy More’s resident cover band, Jeffster! (composed of Scott Krinsky’s Jeff and Vik Sahay’s Lester, inset above).

”It’s the worst music video of all time,” declares executive producer Josh Schwartz, who declines to reveal the title of the song. He does, however, offer these two clues: The track was once featured in a horror movie, and it ties into the episode’s big climax. ”The way the original song was used in the movie is the way we’re using it here,” hints Schwartz. Adds fellow exec producer Chris Fedak: ”The song narrates the action.”

In addition to ear-splitting music, the finale boasts at least one significant death; a childhood flashback with Chuck (Zachary Levi), Ellie (Sarah Lancaster), and Pops Bartowski (Scott Bakula); and ”two big game-changing twists” that Schwartz promises will top last year’s. ”This finale will leave fans very satisfied,” he continues, ”and yet talking about what’s to come for — knock on wood — season 4.”

Speaking of which, Schwartz says the episode is not intended to function as a series finale should NBC do the wrong thing and cancel the show (a move that seems unlikely). ”Much like last year, we’re putting all of our chips on the table,” he says. ”We are going to drive our fans into a frenzy.” Or at least to their local Subway.


Shake-up at Parks and Rec
Perhaps the next project small-town bureaucrat Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) should tackle on Parks and Recreation is installing a revolving door in the office. Exec producer Michael Schur confirms that Paul Schneider, who plays city planner Mark Brendanawicz, is leaving Pawnee at the end of the season. To fill the void, the NBC sitcom (which has already been renewed for a third season) has recruited exiting Brothers & Sisters star Rob Lowe and Party Down’s Adam Scott to play state employees who ”are brought in to help with a large budget problem,” explains Schur, adding that Rob’s arrival has ”big romantic implications for one of the main characters.” But not for Leslie — word is that she’ll be setting her sights on Scott’s character.

Satan Relocates to Wisteria Lane
Torchwood‘s John Barrowman arrives March 21 on Desperate Housewives as Patrick Logan, the sworn enemy of Angie (Drea de Matteo). And let there be no mistake: He’s bad. Really, really bad. ”[Series creator] Marc Cherry told me it’s one of the most evil parts he’s written for the series,” says Barrowman. ”He wanted to make sure I [was comfortable playing] a villain, and I said of course. It’s nice to play a bad guy.” But news that Fox is developing a U.S. version of Torchwood likely means he’ll be back in hero mode before long. Should we be worried that Captain Jack will be de-gayed for American audiences? ”The last thing I would want is for Jack to become this heterosexual, straight kind of hero,” says Barrowman. ”He likes men, women, aliens, whatever. I think we should continue down that route.”

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