Keith Staskiewicz
March 23, 2010 AT 09:38 PM EDT

Image Credit: Scott Gries/MTVSurprisingly, the first book to pop out of the greasy traffic accident that is the MTV reality series Jersey Shore is not a heart-wrenching introspective memoir entitled The Reality of The Situation. No, it’s Never Fall In Love At the Jersey Shore, a Guido guide on how to maintain that distinctive Jersey Shore look and attitude, brought to you by two of the show’s houseguests, J-WOWW and Ronnie. That’s right, folks! You too can be a lowest common denominator!

St. Martin’s Press has signed a deal with the two fair-weather Jerseyites to bring you all the best insight into GTL (Gym, Tanning, Laundry), MOITHT (Making Out In The Hot Tub) and GABTCAPSOOTB (Getting Arrested By The Cops After Punching Someone Out On The Boardwalk.) No doubt the advice will be as shallow as the Atlantic Ocean is deep, but perhaps they’ll be nice enough to include a free sample canister of Axe Body Spray along with some suggestions for dermatologists who specialize in melanoma.

What say you, Shelf-Lifers? Gross? Or awesome (and gross)?

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