Annie Barrett
April 02, 2010 AT 05:42 PM EDT

  • Chad Lowe and Gina Torres join ABC Family series. Different ones. Are you telling me I’ll never get to see a buddy comedy about White House Deputy White House Chief of Staff Reed Pollock and Anna Espinosa? Why are you trying to ruin Good Friday? [THR]
  • Citations: Jesse James vandalized a paparazzo’s car; random paparazzo dude stalked Jesse James [News Briefs]
  • Stephen Daldry, the avid reader, will direct Extremely Loud, based on the Sept. 11-themed novel by Jonathan Safran Foer. [THR]
  • According to our favorite headline of the day (“Source: Charlie Sheen Lighting Fire Under Asses to Get What He Wants”), Charlie Sheen doesn’t want to leave Two and a Half Men; he really just wants more money. So do I. Should I light Michael Slezak on fire? [E!’s Marc Malkin]
  • James Ransone and Jake Cherry join Channing Tatum, Al Pacino, Katie Holmes, Ray Liotta, Tracy Morgan and Juliette Binoche in crime drama Son of No One. Raise your hand if you are not in this movie. Okay pipe down, Chad Lowe. [THR]
  • Malice in Wonderland, starring Lost and Taken‘s Maggie Grace, opens in limited release today. [Film School Rejects]

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