An unknown actress with the curiously Scandinavian-sounding name “Scarlett Johansson” has overcome incredible odds and successfully managed to look not unattractive in the new poster for Iron Man 2. You might even say that the actress, heretofore best known for her voice roles in Robot Chicken and The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie, looks somewhat “seductive” and “alluring,” although we can’t say for sure until our statisticians are done crunching the numbers. We can all agree that Ms. Johansson makes a compelling argument for a new federal law mandating all Hollywood actresses henceforth wear only skintight bodysuits in every movie ever.
All joking aside, kids, this new poster is the latest indication that the superhero sequel, which hits theaters in May 7, is going to be one hell of a ride. It’s still not quite clear how closely Johansson’s Black Widow is going to hew to the comic book version, but it’s nice to see that they’re keeping the character’s iconic bracelets, which can fire all sorts of helpful things (gas pellets, grappling hooks, etc.).
Are you excited to see Johansson vamp it up in Iron Man 2, PopWatchers? Does the fact that both Johansson and Gwyneth Paltrow are rocking red hair for the sequel get you excited for a Ginger Face-off? (Keep in mind: no matter what this guy says, they don’t have souls.) Also, since there are rumors that staring at this poster for too long can incite minor psychotic episodes in the mind of the human male, we here at PopWatch recommend only looking at it through tinted glasses, or with the aid of a mirror shield.