EW Staff
April 30, 2010 AT 04:00 AM EDT

HITS
· Mindy Kaling from The Office gets a book deal. Preorder line starts behind us.
· Happy that How to Train Your Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is a box office hit!
· Clarke Peters, Wendell Pierce, and the rest of the awesome cast of Treme make us miss The Wire just a little bit less.
· Aisha Tyler is beautiful, witty, and on a comedy tour. Go see her!
· Incest we aren’t creeped out by: Parenthood siblings Lauren Graham and Peter Krause are supposedly dating.
· Angelina Jolie in The Tourist: Gorgeous

NEAR MISSES
· Look at those muscles! See, the Situation’s not all bad.
· Bieber: Australian for ”riot”
· A dog in Alaska leads state trooper to rescue a family from a fire…
· …meanwhile, a cat stands on a couch on YouTube. Yeah, that’s impressive.
· Avatar DVD becomes the fastest-selling Blu-ray of all time. How do you say ”Suck it, Hurt Locker” in Na’vi?
· Hugh Hefner donates $900,000 to save Hollywood sign; plans to install Jacuzzi, giant Cialis dispenser.

MISSES
· Dancing With the Stars pro says Kate Gosselin needs a psychologist. Volunteers?
· Melissa Etheridge: the lesbian Larry King
· Larry King: the straight Melissa Etheridge
· Real Housewives of New York City‘s Countess LuAnn drops her new single, ”Money Can’t Buy You Class.” Apparently it can’t buy you a good single, either.
· Renee Zellweger, Adrian Grenier, and Hayden Panettiere…did everyone in Hollywood recently buy a defective Flowbee?
· Someone throws a drink in Snooki’s face. At least now she reeks of vodka, not desperation.
· Lindsay Lohan says she’s ”done with the club scene.” Club scene breathes a sigh of relief, asks for a permanent restraining order.
· Oh my God, they threatened to kill South Park. You bastards!

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