Adam Markovitz
May 21, 2010 AT 04:00 AM EDT

The studio says that The Tourist (starring Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie) is an international spy thriller. But based on all the paparazzi pics from the Venice set, we suspect otherwise. Here’s our take.

A honeymooner (Depp) gets lost in Venice when his shopaholic bride storms off after a fight over a pricey souvenir. Unable to read an Italian map, he beds down in an empty gondola.

Mistaken for Italy’s infamous Sleepy Strangler (L’Assassino Assonnato), our pj-clad hero is nabbed by la polizia and sentenced to death that very afternoon.

But wait! His bride finally takes a break from shopping to spring her man: ”That’s my husband, and the only person he’s ever tried to kill is me when I booked this trip on his card!”

Reunited, the couple boat back to their hotel and live happily ever after — at least until he finds out just how much the new dress and earrings she bought set him back.

You May Like