· ”I swear, with God as my witness, I will never pick up another man! In a library…on a Saturday…unless he’s cute…and drives a nice car…Amen.” R.I.P. Blanche and Rue McClanahan.
· Christopher Nolan won’t recast the Joker in Batman 3. From beyond the grave, Dick Sargent sadly puts away résumé.
· Nurse Jackie finale turns into the best episode of Intervention ever.
· Summer jam No. 1: Kelly Rowland’s ”Commander”
· Summer jam No. 2: Jason Derulo’s ”Ridin’ Solo”
· Glee: The Beginning to hit bookstores. Love it — but really wish it could sing.
· New iPhone is thinner than you, smarter than you, and can multitask better than you. Thank God it’s not a co-worker.
· Chace Crawford’s mug shot: Still hot
· McDreamy Eyes (a.k.a. Jesse Williams) becomes a regular on Grey’s Anatomy.
· Alanis Morissette marries rapper: Hope it didn’t rain on your wedding day.
· Clay Aiken releases an album of standards. In related news, BP has found a new cap for its oil spill.
· 24 president Cherry Jones quits the Emmy race after winning last year. Cherry, the Emmys don’t have term limits! · Rihanna’s hair, Betty White’s hair, and Katy Perry’s hair: Red, White, and Blue
· Mitzi Gaynor’s hair: Orange
· Shaun White: Carrot Top never imagined that someone would actually steal his look.
· Heidi Klum nabs reality show with husband Seal for Lifetime. Says the Bluefly accessory wall: ”Where’s my show?”
· Elton John performs at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding. Was that a flying pig that just whizzed by?
· Dear Miley, Your pants retail for $6 at Walmart. Buy a pair. On us.
· The new Hollywood chapter of Mensa
· Peter F–inelli on the MTV Movie Awards