Kate Ward
June 16, 2010 AT 09:26 PM EDT

Yesterday, The Early Show reported that rocker Ozzy Osbourne’s genes are being mapped by scientists. Why? Well, because the Black Sabbath rock star has managed to survive 40 years of excessive drug and alcohol abuse and a bike accident that left his neck broken in 2003.

So what will the scientists — based out of a Massachusetts company called Knome — find? We won’t know for another three months, apparently, but I’ve had my theory mapped out for a long time: Ozzy’s, quite simply, a cat in a man suit. How else do you explain his nine-plus lives? And how cute he looks when he comes up to the window, offering his owners a half-eaten bat as a present?

I mean, come on, he even looks like this cat in this picture. (LOLOzzy!) But I’m open to other ideas. Your turn PopWatchers: How has Ozzy survived his 61 years on Earth? And whose genetic make-up would you like to study?

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