Kate Ward
July 28, 2010 AT 01:00 PM EDT

Yesterday, Jezebel unearthed this nearly 30-year-old video from Real People chronicling the 1982 Miss Valley Girl Competition in Encino, Calif. Watch it to hear such “Val” expressions as “Bag your face!” and “Gag Me With a Spoon” screeched by Moon Unit Zappa in a decibel likely to attract the nearest canine, and you’ll begin to think those crazy Twilight kids are somewhat sane after all.

It’s hard to believe kids used to talk like this, but, then again, it’s also hard to believe that Nicolas Cage once had hair like this. (Then again, maybe it’s not.) Either way, the mere presence of Fred Willard in the video — I’d like to think this was research for his future work with Christopher Guest — is worth the future hearing aid. At least they’re not singing “Midnight at the Oasis.” 

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