1. Kate Gosselin reportedly to go camping with Sarah Palin in Alaska
Okay, at least we got her out of the contiguous U.S. Baby steps…
2. Brangelina settle suit against U.K.’s News of the World, which claimed couple had split
The tab agrees to babysit the kids every Friday, plus look the other way on the next two adoptions.
3. Inception No. 1 at box office two weeks in a row
Or did an evil studio publicist sneak into my dreams and plant the idea that this crazy movie is actually a summer blockbuster? I so confused.
4. Police discover drugs on Bret Michaels’ tour bus
They also found a stash of illicit spandex circa 1987, but some things are better handled outside of the law.
5. Mad Max 4 shoot delayed after rains turn Aussie dust bowl into green pasture
There’s supposedly a tape of Mel Gibson reaming out Mother Nature. Which is weird — he’s not even in the film.
6. A month after quitting acting, Amanda Bynes tweets that she’s ”unretired”
Remember Amanda Bynes? Blond? Starred in Hairspray? Yeah, I know, it’s been a while.
7. Luke Wilson’s porn drama Middle Men to include orgy
But the real controversy will be over that edgy, nine-minute AT&T coverage-map scene.
8. Fox to release Family Guy’s infamous unaired abortion episode on DVD this fall
In the final trimester of the year? Protesters are gonna love that touch.
9. Lindsay Lohan placed in jail cell next to thief connected to gang that burglarized her home
”Did you guys happen to swipe a nail file and paper clip off my counter?” Lohan whispered to her through her cell. ”I’m not mad — just…curious.”
10. Mosquito flies into mouth of Taiwanese news anchor on air, sending her to hospital
More on this later, but first: Are your newscasters too fragile?