As if being on the block wasn’t difficult enough, suddenly lovebirds Hayden and Kristen were forced to do it in solitary confinement and wearing a spectacularly absurd “hippie-tard.” [SPOILER ALERT: Read on only if you’ve already watched Wednesday night’s episode of Big Brother.] But the first half of Wednesday’s episode wasn’t about that. Instead, it was one long montage of Brendon telling Rachel he loved her, while the chemist/cocktail waitress’ responses alternated between pushing him, rolling her eyes, and simply walking away. That’s actually not fair of me. Rachel also did manage in that time to offer up the lamest apology ever to Hayden and Kristen for telling them to “bring it on” at the nomination ceremony. “I’m apologizing for that comment,” she began. Okay so far, so good. Nothing wrong there. “And I’m sorry that you’re taking it personally.” NO! No, Rachel! That’s not an apology at all. Go back to psychologically abusing Brendon, why don’t you?
The Veto Competition basically consisted of awful dinner theater acting by Brendon and an assortment of second rate wizard costumes apparently purchased at Party City at off-season discount prices. The contestants were forced to play an oversized game of pinball that required no skill whatsoever, and by the end, Britney won the veto, Kristen was forced to wear a “hippie-tard” for a week, and Hayden’s prize was 24 hours in solitary confinement. “It’s the worst thing that could ever happen,” Kristen declared when all was said and done, although I would still have to put Annie’s brief reign as Saboteur as numero uno on the lame-o-meter.
Kristen and Hayden tried to comfort each other after by touching pinkies through the Solitary Confinement door. (What is this, freakin’ E.T.? Is he also eating Reese’s Pieces in that room back there?) The whole scene was actually mildly romantic, at least as romantic as anything involving a “hippie-tard” and a dude who belts out every syllable in the diary room at maximum volume can be. I mean, it wasn’t exactly The Notebook, is what I’m getting at.
Hey, did someone mention movies? It’s movie night at the Big Brother house, with Hayden, Enzo, Brendon, and Rachel getting a private advance screening of new Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg action-comedy The Other Guys. Oh, look, it’s that scene I saw in the advertisement for The Other Guys! Why are they showing the same scene again here? Oh, right, this entire segment is an ad for The Other Guys! I forgot! “The Other Guys is the best movie I’ve ever seen!” opined Rachel (Really, Rachel? The Other Guys? Better than The Godfather? Better than The Wizard of Oz? Better than Citizen Kane? Do you even know what Citizen Kane is? Let’s try something a little more your speed: Better than Bio-Dome?) “Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are awesome! They’re just hilarious,” critiqued Brendon. If the people behind The Other Guys do, in fact, have any sense of humor, they will immediately put these insightful and completely unbiased reviews in all of their movie ads and posters under a huge banner that reads “ENDORSED BY BIG BROTHER MORONS!”
After the movie break (The Other Guys! Coming this Friday to a theater near you!) Hayden and Britney came up with a plan for her to use the veto if Hayden could convince Rachel to put up Kathy. It ultimately fizzled, so the nominations stayed the same. What do you think Big Brother fans? Should crazy hand-slapping Kristen or LOUD TALKER Hayden be shown the door on Thursday? How dysfunctional is this Brendon-Rachel showmance already proving to be? And am I the only one secretly rooting for Britney? Sound off on the message boards below. And for more reality TV news and views, follow me on Twitter @EWDaltonRoss.