Keith Staskiewicz
August 10, 2010 AT 10:46 PM EDT

The trailer for Unstoppable, the upcoming action movie from Tony Scott and Denzel Washington, is online and all I can think is that it basically looks like a big-budget Hollywood adaptation of one of those “train leaves the station” word problems that you used to see on middle school math tests. Watch the trailer below to see what I mean:

“An unmanned train loaded with 8 freight cars of poisonous chemicals is headed south towards a heavily populated area at 80 mph. It is still 150 miles away, but should the train hit the city, the event radius is estimated to be between 20 to 45 miles. In addition, a different train, carrying 150 students, is heading northeast at a speed of 65 mph. Given that Chris Pine is shirtless for exactly 3 seconds in the trailer, and Unstoppable is set to come out on 11/12, what are the chances that it’ll be a decent movie?”

Don’t ask me to show my work, but after some quick calculations, I’ve come to the conclusion that it looks like it could end up being an all-right bit of slam-boom-bang-whoosh-huzzah! action for the fall. Scott and Washington’s last train-in-trouble flick (The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3) wasn’t half-bad, although it does make you wonder what it is about perilous locomotives that these guys love. At least Training Day wasn’t actually about trains. What do you think, PopWatchers? What do your calculations tell you?

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