Breia Brissey
September 03, 2010 AT 08:10 PM EDT

Image Credit: Jakes Van Der Watt/PR Photos; Anthony G. Moore/PR PhotosPrepare to roll your eyes. US Weekly reports that Lindsay Lohan’s estranged father, Michael, plans to open his own rehabilitation center in California. Seeing that Lindsay was just released early from her stint in jail/rehab, I can only channel Alanis at this moment and say, “isn’t it ironic?” (Regardless of her sometimes incorrect usage of the word.)

Anyway, Michael has had his own issues, but apparently after seeing the widely publicized struggles of Lindsay, he realized opening the rehab facility was his “calling and purpose in life.” Additionally, he knows “this is what God wants me to do first and foremost.” Glad we got that cleared up. Michael also told US Weekly that his center will focus only “on mind, body, and soul.” (Cue: aforementioned eyeroll) And perhaps my favorite gem from this report, Michael wants his rehab center to be a refuge for everyone, not just the VIPs like his daughter: “You don’t have to be Lindsay Lohan or Nicole Richie or Robert Downey Jr. or a celebrity to get rehab.” Thank goodness!

While Michael is busy making plans to help everyone who needs spiritual rehabilitation, Fox Sports Radio’s Pat O’Brien is making a personal plea to Lindsay. He wrote an open letter to the actress in today’s edition of The Hollywood Reporter. O’Brien, who has also struggled with substance abuse, is worried about the path Lindsay is headed down and wrote: “I’ve been through it, Lindsay. For me, there has been no jail, no courtroom antics, no ankle bracelet and, thankfully, I don’t have the paparazzi snapping my every move. But I, too, have the same demons you have, and it’s no fun.” Seems the guy has classed up his prose since these days.

Sigh. How many times must we long for the days when THIS Lindsay was making headlines?

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