I have to start by saying… “Thank You!”
You guys are the greatest and most loyal audience a show could ever hope to have on its side!
After dominating Thursday night at 8pm for nearly 10 years, Survivor moved to Wednesday night. This was a big move. What would happen? Would our audience stay with us or would this be the beginning of the end?
Well, not only was Survivor the #1 show of the night in all the key demos, holllla…!… but our ratings actually went up from a year ago. That just does-not-happen in television these days.
It’s all because of you. You stayed with us. You changed your viewing habits. Whatever you were watching on Wednesday nights, you’re not anymore.
So.. once again, we say thank you.
Okay now onto the episode.
Hellllllo crazy woman #2! You thought Wendy was a little wacky, hang on, cause here comes Holly!
It’s only day 4 or 5 and already she is losing her mind. Let me preface all of this by saying that I actually really enjoy Holly. I think she’s a good person and she just had a very rough first few days, but man she was going bonkers.
As is so often the case, we didn’t have enough time to show you all the different ways that Holly was losing her mind, but I don’t think you need to see much more than her taking somebody’s expensive dress shoes, filling them with sand and tossing them in the ocean… for what appeared to be no good reason.
On second thought – what’s crazier? Sinking a pair of $1600 alligator shoes in the ocean… or paying $1600 for a pair of shoes?! Dan… sixteen hundred dollars? Really? For a pair of shoes? Alligator, no less? All of it just feels very wrong. Maybe Holly did you a favor sinking those things. Then again you’ve probably already replaced them and plan on wearing them at the live show in December!
Note to Jimmy T: – the reason nobody is asking you what you think is because you’re always telling everybody what you think. God gave you ears for a reason – try listening for a change. Man. I have a lot of patience but I will be honest, I’d be hard pressed not to vote out Jimmy T – regardless if he was in my alliance, if he had six idols, even if his uncle was Les Moonves, my boss. Okay, maybe I’d put up with him if indeed his uncle was Les Moonves. But I’d want proof first. Otherwise – el gonzo.
Hey Marty, don’t start patting yourself on the back. You’re not out of the Probst doghouse either. Granted, you are much more controlled, much more subdued and a far better listener than Jimmy T. But your determination to get rid of Jimmy Johnson is irrational. It’s envy. Pure envy, brotha. You know I’m speaking the truth. You should rethink it… the man can lead. He’s calm.
Did you see the way he talked Holly back into the game. He was very comforting and he did it without judgment. That’s leadership. He understands that people have ups and downs. No big deal. He knows the key is to simply get your head back in the game and everything will be okay.
Marty and Jimmy T – I’m gonna say it again – ease up on Jimmy J. There’s a time and a place for everything but don’t vote him out based on spite. You two should give “The New Earth” a read.
While we’re at it - Naonka, there’s still plenty of room in this doghouse, so come on in and plop it. I’ll even give you a bone to chew on since you’ve been yapping like a dog these first two episodes.
Naonka: (On Kelly Bruno and her artificial leg)
“If we have to race and that leg falls off… she’s outta here.”
And with that line, Naonka moves to the front of the line for “America’s Favorite Survivor.” Touching.
Naonka, did you see Kelly B work her way through that mud and the hay? You may wanna think twice about challenging her to a race! Personally, that was all I needed to see. Kelly’s leg is absolutely no disadvantage. The girl can move.
Naonka: “I don’t want anybody to think that I’m a B-I-T-C-H.”
Hmm… uh.. trying to figure out how to say this without offending… well, that might be tough, so I guess I’ll just say it straight up… no beating around the bush… gonna just lay it out the way I see it.
Naonka, as far as wanting to make sure that nobody thinks you’re a bitch…. Girl, it’s too late. That ship has sailed.
You might be able to turn it around, but for the time being, you are the “bitch” of the show, and the little that I know about you, I’m pretty sure you’re okay with that title.
In fairness to Naonka, as lippy and sassy as she is, she did make me laugh often. She does have a good sense of humor, she just needs to think a little bit before she speaks. Maybe her and Jimmy T should sit down for a little meditation together. Go to China. Meet a Monk or something.
And I’m not even gonna get into Naonka stealing somebody’s socks. These people are out of their friggin minds! It’s only day five!
Thank God Fabio is still sane.
THE HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL
Marty: (to Jill) “I got the idol. I got the idol baby. I got the first idol—(realizing the error of his statement)- WE got the first idol!”
Jill: (knowingly) We got the idol.
Damn Marty. You are out of control. Jill was the one who figured out the clue. She then came and told you where to look. Then she came and inspired you to keep looking and when you finally find it, the first words out of your mouth are… “I got it!?” I? I?
Maybe I should just send you “The New Earth” and not wait for you to get it yourself.
MEN ARE FROM MARS
Chase, I know you prayed to God to bring you someone you could trust. But who are you kidding? You don’t “trust” Brenda because God sent her to you, you trust Brenda for the same reason every guy would trust Brenda – she’s hot. Just say it. Own it. It’ll feel so much better. Everybody can appreciate falling for a beautiful woman. No slight to God intended, I’m just saying that this decision didn’t need anybody’s blessing. It’s a slam dunk.
But to everyone else – if you’re in an alliance with Chase, you need to get out now! He’s crazy over Brenda and he’s going to tell her everything. Someone put a rope around his neck and drag him back into the shelter. Bring him here to the Probst doghouse. You’ve got to do something or he’ll bring you down.
That was not editing – I asked one opening question and Shannon just started talking. Much like Wendy, he just wouldn’t shut up. The more he talked, the more he influenced the tribe to vote him out. When someone is that aggressive it’s hard not to have a reaction. Shannon was aggressive.
I think he sealed his fate when he asked Sash, out of nowhere, “Are you gay?” And then followed it up with, “New York is full of gay people.”
Too bad the finale for this season is in LA, woulda been kinda fun to get a group and take Shannon out to a couple of gay bars in Manhattan.
When I saw the message Sash had for Shannon as he voted, I laughed out loud:
Sash: “You should have known better than to mess with the biggest bachelor in NY. As they say in Nicaragua, Hasta La Vista!”
I’m not laughing with or at Sash, I’m just laughing because it’s so damn funny. It’s just funny watching Sash with that confident grin of his proclaiming to be the biggest bachelor in one of the biggest cities in the entire world. Sash, we must hang. I want to watch you work your magic, baby! Maybe you, me and Shannon should all go to the Big Apple and party! Hollllla!
PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW
Shannon – it’s with mixed emotions that we say goodbye. Your one-liners were fantastic and had you lasted longer you would have given us many more laughs. But the longer you lasted the more unlikable you would have become. It’s true. Doesn’t mean you’re a bad guy, it just means that in this environment you… were… well.. unlikable. I’m only speaking about this game. I’m sure your life is full of love and great friendships. Survivor just wasn’t your destiny.
In closing, I will say what I say to all guys who are much bigger than me. Shannon, please don’t kick my ass when you see me again. I voted for you to be on the show – you delivered a lot, you left too soon, but you weren’t long for the game. You just came on too strong.
See ya next week!
Below, check out a deleted scene from last night’s episode and to see why Jeff Probst had a feeling Shannon wouldn’t last long before the game had even started. And when you’re done, check out Dalton Ross’ episode 2 recap, “A Gay Old Time at Tribal Council.”