ABC just announced the new Bachelor, and as we all expected, it’s Brad Womack, a.k.a. The Most Hated Bachelor Ever, and this time he’s totally going to pick someone, okay? Seriously, no joke. Upon hearing the news, my mind was filled with myriad burning questions, including, “Wow, how pissed is Jake right now?” and “Why am I not surprised that Brad’s still single?” and “Why am I surprised that he lacks the judgment to realize that he did the right thing the first time around and that the only thing dumber than going on a reality show to find a wife is going on a reality show to find a wife TWICE???” and “Did he come crawling back to ABC or vice versa?”
My questions remain unanswered, except for the last one. According to ABC, Team Bachelor had been in touch with Brad on and off since 2007 about possible appearances on various Tell All specials, and during those talks, sad Brad lamented that he always believed in “the process” and that seeing his brothers settle down and start families made him long for a second chance at the reality TV spotlight love. Seriously, how could ABC walk away from the opportunity to put this truly Toxic Bachelor back in the spotlight? The only thing better than having a Bachelor everyone loves is having a Bachelor everyone wants to punch in the face repeatedly while wearing lots of heavy rings. (See: record-high ratings for Jake’s season.) It’s not like execs at ABC need to worry about protecting the integrity of the franchise.
So, rose lovers, what do you think? Are you ready to give Brad a second chance? Post your thoughts/screeds/howls from the depths of your soul below. And won’t you please help ABC pick a subtitle for the new season? Thanks so much.