Santa Claus getting captured and delayed is a common theme in holiday movies. The Hallmark Channel original The Santa Incident (premiering Dec. 7), makes it… interesting. The Homeland Security Asymmetrical Threats Division has mistaken Santa (James Cosmo, currently playing Father Ashby on Sons of Anarchy) as an alien craft and repeatedly tried to shoot him down to no avail. Finally, a heat-seeking missile connects and Santa crashes to Earth, where he is rescued by a couple of kids and nursed back to health by their mom, Say Anything…’s Ione Skye. Ally McBeal’s Greg Germann plays one of two bumbling secret agents who hone in on Santa’s location and, “they are determined to make Kris Kringle pay for their looking bad in a prior botched anti-alien interdiction,” the synopsis says. “The dumb luck duo repeatedly delay Santa, but he never takes his eye off the ticking clock. Christmas is coming – and while Nick waits for a sign that his Elf Posse is coming to the rescue – he busies himself doing work-in-trade around town. Bartering his time for batteries, microchips, and other materials, Santa magically makes stacks of toys with military precision and stashes them in a secret location. As the agents rush in to plunder Santa’s ad hoc toy factory, they hear a faint sound: jingle bells. Santa’s eyes twinkle and he smiles.” Is it wrong that I’m wondering what his Elf Posse will look like? My favorite elves are still the ones from South Park’s “Red Sleigh Down” episode. (“We got a red sleigh down. We got a red sleigh down.”)
How do you think The Santa Incident will stack up against Hallmark’s other upcoming holiday fare? You’ve got Shannen Doherty starring in the Halloween-themed The Big One premiering Oct. 23 (we’ve already reported on that one, as naturally we would). Daphne Zuniga and Faye Dunaway (you read that right!) topline A Family Thanksgiving, premiering Nov. 8. In that one, a wealthy, workaholic lawyer (Zuniga), who skips her family Thanksgiving because she’s up for partner, meets a “bizarre mystic” (Dunaway), who drops her into an alternate reality to see what her life might have been like if she had married and had children. Then, of course, she must choose whether or not to stay there.
Does Hollywood have a Santa problem?