Annie Barrett
November 22, 2010 AT 09:52 PM EST

Image Credit: George Burns/Harpo ProductionsIt wasn’t OHHHH-VERRRRRRRR! On today’s Oprah, Ms. Thang delivered a message from on high (her metaphorical perch atop a pile of solid gold iPads) to announce to the studio audience that THEY TOO would be on the receiving end of Santa Winfrey’s sleighful of presents. First, she baited a lady in a hot pink blazer to admit how disappointed everyone probably was because they’d just seen those lucky bitches from the previous taping (that had happened just before theirs) pile out with tons of new stuff.

And then. [A single ornament rolls out.] What’s this? “I got an ornament!” [It begins to snow.] “Actually….it’s beginning to look a lot like….FAVORITE THI-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!”

‘Oprah’s Favorite Things’: 5 Facial Expressions of Near-Terror on Monday’s show!

Brantley Gutierrez

OH NO! I’M ALREADY SO RICH!

Jason Davis/Getty Images

Nooooooooooo!

Wahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Chris Hornbecker

BITCH, I DON’T LIKE TO GET MY HAIR WET.

Hold me, new friend! Mama’s not gonna make it!

Roger Kisby / The FADER FORT Presented by Converse

Hidden gem: The extra-long “piece of snow” that remained in Oprah’s hair as she presented her Ultimate Favorite Thing: What else but an iPad?!

“Now I can watch O Magazine come to liiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiife on my iiiiiiii-Paaaaaaaaaaaaad!”

UPDATE: Everyone’s getting….the brand new totally redesigned 2012 Volkswagen Beetle!

Vanessa Heins

XPX/Star Max/GC Images

Violence!!!

Read more:

‘Oprah: 10 Facial Expressions of Near-Terror Before Free Trip to Australia Announcement

‘Oprah’s Ultimate Favorite Things’ part 1: Dog-colored sweaters and a cruise to mass hysteria

All Oprah Winfrey items on PopWatch

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

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