Jeff Labrecque
December 01, 2010 AT 10:34 PM EST

When 28-year-old George Lucas first set out to make American Graffiti in 1972, the only time he smiled during the five-week shoot was when Wolfman Jack made armpit noises.

Kenny Loggins admitted that “Playing With the Boys” was not the song that “Danger Zone” was, but he couldn’t help but grin every time that Top Gun check arrived.

Once Greg Evigan tried to shove Paul Reiser into oncoming traffic, there was no repairing that relationship and My Two Dads quickly sank.

When evidence surfaced that Stephen Colbert was really Yusef Islam who was really Cat Stevens who was really Steven Georgiou, Bill O’Reilly quickly labeled the disgraced comic a Pinhead.

These alt-captions for this old picture of Stephen Colbert(!) write themselves, but I know you’ve got better ones up your sleeve. Try and top each others’ witty comic stylings below.

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