'Toddlers & Tiaras': 5 cringe-inducing projections from this week's delusional pageant moms | EW.com

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'Toddlers & Tiaras': 5 cringe-inducing projections from this week's delusional pageant moms

Toddlers-and-TiarasImage Credit: TLC“She loves to be the center of attention at pageants.” –Nicole (pictured), mother of 5-year-old Alexis, whose “unibrow” had been brutally waxed for this week’s featured competition, Fancy Faces of Oklahoma

“She loves to shop. She has great fashion sense.” –Tricia, mother of 15-month-old SamiJo, who was put into pageants because “that’s the whole reason I wanted to have a daughter.”

“I do not know how SamiJo would react today if she didn’t win.” –Tricia, while waiting for the crowning ceremony after having force-fed her baby “special juice” a.k.a. a can of Coke. Um, she’d go take a nap because she’s a baby!!!!!!

“She loves being in pageants. It makes her feel special about herself.” –Kim, stepmom of 4-year-old Jaclynn

“She has a great personality.” –Kim

After the jump, a very special screengrab of Arnold, the disabled puppet considered by 4-year-old Jaclynn to be her number one fan, “dancing” with her father, Weldon, who looked and sounded like a character from a Coen Brothers movie.

As usual, the mom was doing her little beauty queen’s routine so that she could follow along from the stage. In Jaclynn’s case, not only was her 15-year-old sister Mercedes “helping out” by doing totally different moves, but so were her dad and Arnold! Quick tip for next time: Mom should manipulate Arnold and everyone else should sit down. Obviously the bewildered child is going to focus on the toy she wishes she was playing with.

My most burning question from the episode: Did Arnold come in a wheelchair, or did Jaclynn decide he was disabled? I could write thousands of words about my own experience in this area, but I shall save that for another day. (Never.)

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett


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