Darren Franich
January 21, 2011 AT 05:50 PM EST

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is a New York Times best-selling author, which to many people signals the end of Western Civilization. But come on, Western Civilization arguably ended three times already: When the Roman Empire conquered Athens, when Shakespeare sold out and wrote the lame spin-off play The Merry Wives of Windsor (a.k.a. Henry IV Origins: Falstaff), and when Creed became a successful rock band. Snooki’s not on top of the best-seller list: She’s at number 24, behind Jonathan Franzen and Emma Donoghue. And who cares if Snooki did reach number one? It wouldn’t be the first terrible book to top the NYT best-seller list. (Cough cough!) And isn’t it just a little inspirational to think that a charming, semi-illiterate, perma-tanned elf with only the barest hint of self-awareness could actually become a minor literary success? Congratulations, Shnookums: You’re a true inspiration to writers everywhere, because if you can publish a successful book, anyone can. America!

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