Image Credit: Nicholas Geller; Inset: Vera Anderson/WireImage.comChristian Bale has his next project set in stone: According to Variety, the actor will re-team with The Machinist director Brad Anderson for Concrete Island, in which he’ll play “a wealthy architect who finds himself stranded on a section of fenced-off wasteland in West London and is forced to survive on only what’s in his crashed car and what he’s able to find.” You know what this means, PopWatchers: Bale will surely be going Method. Yes, based on that description, I fully expect to soon see scary tabloid photos of the dangerously dieting actor, who has famously lost weight for roles in The Machinist (pictured), Rescue Dawn, The Fighter, etc.
But I can’t be the only one thinking: Zzzzz. Been there, done that, Christian Bale! We’ve already seen the actor Method-act his way to a smaller pant size. We want to see if he can Method-act his way to something we’ve never seen from him — or any other actors. I’ve polled PopWatch HQ about what role they want to see Christian Bale try to play, with inanimate objects counting as an acceptable answer. Click the jump to see our answers, and suggest some in the comments below. It’s hump day, PopWatchers — let’s have some fun!
Adam Markovitz, for one, suggests the ultimate role for the actor: “How about Christian Bale? He’s so good at playing other people, but could he accurately portray himself?” 3:10 to You, Christian Bale!
Adam “L.A. Adam” B. Vary would like Bale to make Newsies 2, “but this time as the newspaper itself.” He’ll really have to stretch himself to play the Birch typeface.
John Young is hoping Bale would do some soul-searching via method acting: “I want him to play Terminator Salvation cinematographer Shane Hurlbut in a re-staging of their infamous confrontation.” Oh, gooooood for you, John.
Lynette Rice wants to see Bale take up residence in a pineapple under the sea in preparation for a “live-action version of SpongeBob SquarePants.” Mascara also needed.
Darren Franich wants Bale to stretch his Bruce Wayne character even further: “I want to see him method-act a real bat.” A bat cave is a lot less cool when the Batmobile doesn’t exist and Alfred is actually a mouse that you’re about to eat.
Jeff Labrecque has some awesomely gonzo suggestions: “A munchkin — from Oz or Dunkin’ Donuts — both obese motorcycle twins that used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records, and the tree in the film adaptation of The Giving Tree.”
Annie Barrett’s got two plum ideas: “Taking over for Regis Philbin while acting like Regis Philbin. But I guess that’s not a role… it would be the role of a lifetime.” Her other choice is far superior: “A Bale of Hay.” Then what happens if we have to find a needle? Is this going to get like Saw?
And, finally, Keith Staskiewicz may have suggested the most difficult role for Bale: “An actor who doesn’t work so hard.”
Personally, I’d love to see him play a carrot, but only because I suggested it before, and can’t seem to get it out of my mind. Then he can star a tragic, Shakespearean adaptation of a Magic Bullet infomercial, and all my obsessions would role into one. Life complete!
Your turn, PopWatchers. Let’s have some stupid fun!